Wisdom of modern living
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Table of contents
1. How to find a right partner in your relationship.
2.How to deal with rejections?
3.Positive energy vs negative energy
4.How to overcome your laziness?
5.Why do you get suicidal thoughts?
6.How to control your thoughts?
7.You are not a failure
8.How are we falling in love for a relationship these days?
Chapter-1
How to find a right partner in your relationship?
When it comes to finding the right partner, it's important to consider a variety of factors, including both materialistic and emotional desires. However, it's important to recognize that finding someone who meets all of your desires in both categories is unlikely.
What should you do prior selecting a partner?
When it comes to selecting a partner, it is important to have a clear understanding of your expectations and desires.
If materialistic desires are a priority for you:
Then it's important to find a partner who is financially stable and has a solid earning potential. This might include looking at their bank balance, properties, and net worth. However, it's important to recognize that a partner who is successful in this area may not always be emotionally available or prioritize your emotional needs.
If emotional desires are priority for you:
On the other hand, if emotional desires are a priority for you, then it's important to find a partner who is compassionate, caring, and responsible. They should be someone who you can rely on for emotional support and who is invested in your well-being. However, it's important to recognize that a partner who is highly emotional and invested in your relationship may not always be as financially successful as you might desire.
While many people may expect to have both materialistic and emotional desires from their partners, it is important to recognize that finding a partner who meets both of these desires is highly unlikely. Therefore, it is essential to make a clear decision about what kind of partner you are looking for and not to expect both materialistic and emotional desires from your partner.If you have selected your partner based on materialistic desires, you should not expect your partner to fulfill your emotional needs as well.
Example : Person A prioritizes materialistic desires and is looking for a partner who is financially stable and successful. They want a partner who can provide them with a comfortable lifestyle, and who has a high earning potential. They may overlook emotional compatibility in favor of financial stability.
Similarly, if you have selected your partner based on emotional desires, you should not expect your partner to meet all of your materialistic needs. If you set unrealistic expectations, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.
Example : Person B prioritizes emotional desires and is looking for a partner who is kind, caring, and empathetic. They want a partner who can support them emotionally, who is loyal and devoted, and who can be their rock during difficult times. They may overlook financial stability in favor of emotional compatibility.
It is important to remember that human desires are constantly changing. It is possible that you may regret your initial decision and start craving for something else. For instance, you may choose your partner based on financial stability but later on realize that emotional fulfillment is equally important.
However, you should be mindful that it is highly unlikely for one person to meet all of your expectations.
Exactly, expecting someone to change goes against the fundamental principle of accepting someone for who they are. It's important to remember that everyone has their own unique strengths and weaknesses, and it's not fair to ask someone to change something that is intrinsic to their personality.
Moreover, forcing someone to change can often lead to resentment, conflict, and ultimately, a breakdown in the relationship. Instead of trying to change your partner, it's better to communicate your expectations and work together to find a compromise that works for both of you. In some cases, it may even be necessary to reevaluate the relationship if your expectations are fundamentally incompatible.
Choosing a partner is an important decision that should be made carefully and thoughtfully. It's important to prioritize what is truly important to you and to be realistic in your expectations. Being grateful for what you have, accepting your partner for who they are, and communicating openly and honestly are key ingredients to a successful and fulfilling relationship.
You can also be happy with what you have in your relationship:
Indeed, being in a healthy relationship is a blessing, and it is important to appreciate and cherish what you have. In any relationship, it is common to have some expectations from your partner. However, it is important to understand that nobody is perfect and no one can fulfill all of our desires and expectations. Having unrealistic or unnecessary expectations from your partner can create conflicts, disappointments, and even lead to the end of the relationship.
Therefore, it is important to appreciate your partner for who they are, accept their flaws and imperfections, and focus on the positive aspects of your relationship. If your partner meets either your materialistic or emotional desires, you should be grateful and happy.
For instance, if your partner is financially stable and can provide for you and your family, you should appreciate their hard work and dedication towards their career. If your partner is caring, loving, and supportive, you should cherish their presence in your life and be grateful for the emotional support they provide.
Moreover, it is important to communicate your needs and expectations to your partner in a respectful and honest way. Your partner may not know what you expect from them unless you communicate it to them.
However, it is important to keep your expectations realistic and not demand more than what is reasonable. Communication can help you both understand each other's needs and work towards fulfilling them in a healthy and respectful manner.
In summary, being happy with what you have in your relationship and appreciating your partner for who they are is important for a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Instead of focusing on what you don't have or what your partner cannot fulfill, focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and cherish the moments you have together. Communication and understanding each other's needs can help build a stronger and healthier relationship.
Conclusion:
Ultimately, the right partner for you will depend on your individual priorities and needs. It's important to be honest with yourself about what you're looking for in a relationship and to communicate openly with potential partners about your expectations. Remember that finding the right partner is not about finding someone who is perfect in every way, but rather finding someone who complements and supports you in the ways that matter most.
It's important to have realistic expectations and not to expect your partner to fulfill all your desires. People have different strengths and weaknesses, and it's not reasonable to expect someone to be perfect. Rather than focusing on finding someone who meets all of your criteria, it's important to focus on finding someone who is compatible with you and with whom you can build a healthy, fulfilling relationship. This may mean prioritizing some desires over others or being willing to compromise on certain factors. Ultimately, what's most important is finding someone who you can love and who loves you in return, and who you can build a happy and healthy life with.
Chapter- 2
How to deal with rejections?
Rejection is a natural part of life and can have a significant impact on our mental and emotional well-being. It is normal to feel hurt, disappointed, or even angry when faced with rejection, but how we handle those emotions and move forward is important for our overall growth and development.
One important thing to keep in mind is that rejection is not a reflection of our worth as individuals. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we are not good enough or that we have failed in some way, but it's important to remember that rejection is often a result of external factors that are beyond our control.
To deal with rejection in a healthy way, it's important to take time to process our emotions and understand why we were rejected. This could involve talking to a trusted friend or family member, seeking support from a therapist or counselor, or simply taking time to reflect on our thoughts and feelings.
It's also important to avoid getting stuck in a cycle of negative self-talk or self-blame. Instead, we should focus on our strengths and positive qualities, and use rejection as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Another important aspect of dealing with rejection is to stay motivated and focused on our goals. Rejection can be discouraging, but it's important to remember that it's just one setback in a larger journey. By staying focused on our goals and taking steps towards achieving them, we can overcome rejection and move forward with confidence.
Instead of above phycological result you shouldn’t take the rejection to your ego and instead you should adopt positive emotions like Accepting, learning from rejection, determination, never giving up, and hope.
Rejections are an inevitable part of life and can occur in various aspects, such as relationships, goals, profession, and ideas.
Dealing with rejection is a crucial skill that helps us grow and learn from our experiences. Let's explore each of these areas in detail:
Relationships:
Rejection in relationships can be emotionally challenging. It can occur during the early stages of dating, when someone may not reciprocate our feelings or choose not to pursue a relationship with us. Additionally, rejection can arise in long-term relationships, leading to breakups or the end of friendships.
Coping with relationship rejections involves acknowledging and processing your emotions. It's important to remember that rejection doesn't define your worth as an individual. Use the experience as an opportunity for personal growth, reflect on what you learned, and focus on self-improvement. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can provide emotional support during this time.
Goals:
Rejection can occur when striving for personal or professional goals. For example, you might not get accepted into your dream college or university, or you may face setbacks when pursuing a promotion or a career change.
In such situations, it's crucial to maintain a positive mindset and see rejection as a stepping stone towards success. Use rejections as a chance to re-evaluate your goals and strategies. Seek feedback from others to understand areas where you can improve. Remember that perseverance and resilience are key qualities when facing rejection, as they will help you stay motivated and continue working towards your aspirations.
Profession:
In your professional life, you may face rejection in various forms. It could be not getting a job offer after an interview, not receiving a promotion, or facing criticism for your work.
When dealing with professional rejection, it's essential to stay professional and maintain a growth mindset. Take the opportunity to analyze your performance objectively, identify areas for improvement, and seek constructive feedback. Remember that rejection can lead you to better opportunities, so don't let it discourage you. Use it as a chance to refine your skills, broaden your network, and explore new possibilities.
Ideas:
Rejection of your ideas can be disheartening, especially when you've put effort and creativity into them. Whether it's pitching a business idea, proposing a project at work, or sharing your thoughts in a creative setting, not everyone will embrace your ideas.
When your ideas face rejection, try to separate your self-worth from the outcome. Understand that rejection of an idea doesn't necessarily mean it lacks value. Seek constructive feedback, learn from the experience, and use it to refine and strengthen your ideas. Remember that even the most successful individuals faced rejection of their ideas before achieving success.
Overall, facing rejection is an inevitable part of life. It's crucial to develop resilience, maintain a positive mindset, and see rejection as an opportunity for growth. By learning from rejections and persisting in the face of adversity, you can continue to progress and achieve your goals in various aspects of life.
Things to learn from your rejections:
Acceptance
Acceptance is a crucial aspect of dealing with rejection. It's essential to acknowledge and accept that you've been rejected and that it's a natural part of life. When you accept the truth of your rejection, you're not only taking responsibility for your situation but also opening up to the possibility of growth and learning from your experiences.
The failure to accept rejection can lead to negative emotions such as anger, frustration, and low self-esteem. When you refuse to accept rejection, it could result in a lack of motivation, reluctance to take risks, and a constant feeling of being stuck in life. It can also lead to a sense of victimhood where you blame external factors for your rejection instead of taking ownership and looking for ways to improve yourself.
On the other hand, when you accept rejection, you're more likely to move forward positively. You can learn from the experience, analyze what went wrong, and use it to improve yourself for future opportunities. Acceptance can also help you to develop resilience, which is an important characteristic that enables you to bounce back from setbacks and keep moving forward.
Furthermore, accepting rejection can lead to growth and personal development. You may find yourself exploring new options, trying new things, and discovering your strengths and weaknesses. This process of self-reflection and self-improvement can lead to a more fulfilling life, both personally and professionally.
In conclusion, accepting rejection is a crucial step in moving forward from a difficult situation. It enables you to grow, learn, and develop the resilience to face future challenges. While it's natural to feel hurt or disappointed after being rejected, it's important to accept the truth and focus on ways to improve yourself and move forward positively.
Learning from your rejections
Learning from rejection is an important aspect of personal growth and development. Rejection can be a painful experience, but it can also be an opportunity for us to reflect on our actions and attitudes, and to learn from our mistakes. When we face rejection, it is important to take a step back and try to understand the reasons behind it. This can involve asking for feedback from others, analyzing our own behavior and attitudes, and being open to criticism.
Learning from rejection involves being humble and honest with ourselves. It means acknowledging our weaknesses and limitations, and being willing to make changes and improvements. It also involves having a growth mindset, which means seeing challenges and setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth, rather than as indicators of our worth or abilities.
One of the keys to learning from rejection is to avoid getting stuck in negative emotions, such as anger, resentment, or self-pity. Instead, we need to adopt a positive and constructive attitude towards rejection, and see it as a chance to improve ourselves and our situation.
For example, if we face rejection in a job interview, we can take the time to reflect on our performance and identify areas where we can improve our skills or presentation. We can also seek feedback from the interviewer or others in our network, and use this information to refine our approach in future interviews.
Another important aspect of learning from rejection is to maintain a sense of perspective and balance. While rejection can be painful and disappointing, it is important to remember that it is just one aspect of our lives, and that there are many other opportunities and experiences waiting for us. By keeping a positive outlook and focusing on our goals and values, we can use rejection as a stepping stone to greater success and fulfillment in our lives.
Determination
Determination is a key factor that can help individuals to achieve their goals in life. It is the quality of being firm in purpose and persevering in the face of obstacles, setbacks, and failures. When you face rejections in life, it can be easy to become demotivated and lose sight of your goals. However, if you have a strong sense of determination, you will be able to push through these obstacles and continue to work towards your goals.
Having determination means that you have a clear vision of what you want to achieve, and you are willing to put in the necessary effort to make it happen. It requires a certain level of self-discipline and the ability to stay focused, even in the face of adversity. When you face rejection, determination is what allows you to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward.
Determination is an important trait for successful people, because it helps them to overcome challenges and achieve their goals. Successful individuals often face rejection and failure, but their determination keeps them motivated to continue to work towards their goals. They are able to bounce back from setbacks and use their failures as learning opportunities to improve themselves and their strategies.
Don’t expect the help from the people around you
Facing rejection can be a difficult and challenging experience for many individuals. Often, people rely on the support and encouragement of others to help them cope with rejection. However, the reality is that not everyone will receive the support they expect or hope for, and this can make rejection even harder to deal with.
It is important to remember that rejection is a natural part of life and that everyone faces it at some point. The key is to not let rejection define you or hold you back from achieving your goals. Instead, it is important to believe in yourself, have confidence in your abilities, and work hard to overcome the rejection.
One way to do this is by relying on your own inner strength and determination. When you face rejection, it is important to remind yourself that you have the power to overcome it and achieve success. You should not rely on others to provide you with the motivation or support you need to move forward.
Taking control of your own destiny can also lead to greater self-confidence and a stronger sense of self-worth. By relying on your own abilities and determination, you can build resilience and develop a greater sense of personal satisfaction.
For example, if you are an aspiring author and face rejection from publishers, it can be easy to become discouraged and lose hope. However, if you believe in your writing skills and are determined to succeed, you can explore alternative publishing options, such as self-publishing, or seek out feedback from industry professionals to improve your work.
In summary, while it is natural to seek support from others when facing rejection, it is important to also rely on your own inner strength and determination. By doing so, you can build resilience, develop greater self-confidence, and achieve success in the face of rejection
Be hopeful
Hope is a powerful and positive feeling that keeps us motivated and alive even in the most difficult times of our lives. It gives us the strength to overcome obstacles and move forward. When we face constant rejections in life, it is very easy to become discouraged and lose hope. However, it is important to hold onto hope because it can give us the mental strength to keep going and eventually achieve our desired outcome.
Hope is not just a feeling, it is also a mindset that can help us to see the positive side of things. It helps us to focus on the possibilities rather than the limitations. When we are hopeful, we are more likely to seek help and support from others. We become more open to new opportunities and ideas. We are also more likely to take risks and try new things.
Being hopeful can also have a positive impact on our physical health. Studies have shown that hope can improve our immune system, reduce stress and anxiety, and even lower our risk of developing chronic illnesses.
In summary, hope is a powerful feeling and mindset that can help us to stay motivated and optimistic even in the face of constant rejections. It gives us mental strength, encourages us to seek help and support, and can have a positive impact on our physical healt
Be confident
Losing confidence is one of the common emotional responses to rejection. It can be difficult to maintain self-confidence when you face constant rejection. However, it is essential to remember that confidence is something that can be rebuilt and regained with effort and determination.
One of the best ways to regain confidence is to focus on your skills and strengths. Instead of dwelling on the rejection, focus on what you can do well and what you can offer. Take some time to reflect on your skills, talents, and achievements. Consider how you can use these strengths to overcome the rejection and achieve your goals.
Another effective way to regain confidence is to seek feedback and constructive criticism. Sometimes, rejection can offer valuable feedback and insights that can help you improve. Seek feedback from trusted mentors, friends, or colleagues. Ask them to provide constructive criticism that can help you improve your skills or performance.
In addition, it is essential to remember that failure and rejection are a natural part of life. Even the most successful people have faced rejection at some point in their lives. The key to success is to learn from your mistakes, stay focused on your goals, and continue to take action towards achieving them.
It is important to keep in mind that self-confidence is not something that comes naturally to everyone. It is something that can be cultivated through practice and effort. By focusing on your strengths, seeking feedback, and staying focused on your goals, you can regain your confidence and overcome rejection.
Be emotionally strong
Emotional strength is an important quality to possess, especially during times of rejection. When we face rejection, it can be a blow to our self-esteem and self-worth, which can leave us feeling emotionally broken. It's easy to become overwhelmed by negative thoughts and feelings, and to lose our sense of direction and purpose. However, this is the time when it is important to remain emotionally strong and positive, and to adopt positive characteristics such as resilience, determination, and perseverance.
Self-destruction is never the answer to rejection. It's important to remember that rejection is a normal part of life, and that everyone experiences it at some point in their lives. It's how we respond to rejection that defines us as individuals. Instead of giving up, we should focus on becoming emotionally strong and resilient, and to use the rejection as a learning experience that will help us grow and become stronger.
History is filled with examples of individuals who have faced rejection and yet remained emotionally strong and fought for their goals. Bhagat Singh, Mahatma Gandhi, and Subash Chandra Bose are all examples of individuals who faced many rejections and obstacles in their quest for India's freedom, yet they remained emotionally strong and persevered until they achieved their goals.
It's important to remember that emotional strength is not something that can be developed overnight. It requires effort, time, and practice. We can develop emotional strength by adopting positive characteristics, such as resilience, determination, and perseverance, and by developing a strong support system of friends and family who can help us through difficult times. We can also seek the help of professionals, such as counselors or therapists, who can provide us with guidance and support as we navigate the challenges of rejection
Be courageous
Facing rejections in exams or interviews or in others can be a very stressful experience, and it is common to feel anxious and lose confidence in oneself. However, it is important to remain courageous and confident during such times, as this can help in overcoming the anxiety and achieving success.
One way to maintain courage is by visualizing the moment of achievement. This technique involves picturing oneself succeeding and feeling the emotions associated with the achievement. This can help in building confidence and motivation to continue striving towards the goal.
It is also important to be daring and take risks, instead of succumbing to fear. Fear can paralyze one's skills and hinder progress towards success. By being bold and taking calculated risks, one can overcome the fear of rejection and increase the chances of success.
Moreover, it is crucial to have a positive mindset and remind oneself that rejections do not define one's worth or abilities. Instead of dwelling on the past rejections, it is important to focus on the present and work towards future success.
In summary, during times of rejections in exams or interviews or in others, it is essential to remain courageous, confident, and daring. Visualizing the moment of achievement, taking calculated risks, and maintaining a positive mindset can help in overcoming anxiety and achieving success.
Chapter-3
Positive energy vs negative energy
The concept of positive and negative energies in the universe is a belief that has been around for centuries. Many people believe that there are certain energies in the world that can affect our lives, emotions, and well-being. These energies are often associated with positive or negative emotions and behaviors.
Positive energies are believed to be those that promote well-being, happiness, and positivity. These energies can include love, kindness, compassion, determination, success, hope, peace, relief, satisfaction, patience, and gratitude. When we experience these emotions, we tend to feel good and positive about ourselves and the world around us.
On the other hand, negative energies are believed to be those that promote negative emotions and behaviors. These energies can include hate, sadness, selfishness, jealousy, failures, fear, cruelty, greed, pain, gossiping, trolling, conflict, obsession, stress, impatience, cursing, deceiving, vengeance, and blaming. When we experience these emotions, we tend to feel negative about ourselves and the world around us, and our well-being can suffer.
The idea of positive and negative energies in the universe is often associated with the concept of the law of attraction. This concept states that we attract what we focus on, whether positive or negative. So, if we focus on positive energies and emotions, we will attract positive things into our lives, and if we focus on negative energies and emotions, we will attract negative things.
Many people use various techniques to try to attract positive energies into their lives, such as meditation, affirmations, visualization, and gratitude. These techniques are believed to help us focus on positive energies and emotions, and attract positive things into our lives.
Positive energies (God) are love, happiness, kindness, compassion, determination, success, helping, hope, peace, relief, satisfaction, patience, Unconditional and gratitude.
Negative energies (Evil) are hate, sadness, selfishness, jealousy, failures, fear, cruelty, greed, pain, gossiping, trolling, conflict, obsession, stress, impatience, cursing, deceiving, vengeance and blaming.
Positive energies are related to God and negative energies are related to Evil.
What happens when you adopt negative energies in you?:
It's true that our world is dominated by negative energies, and people often associate material success with negative energies. However, it's important to realize that material success is not the ultimate goal in life, and it's not worth sacrificing our inner happiness and peace of mind for it. Positive energies such as love, compassion, kindness, and gratitude can bring us true happiness and fulfillment, which is far more powerful than any materialistic desire.
Positive energy people are more likely to have inner happiness, satisfaction, and peace of mind because they are not in constant conflict with negative energies in them. They are able to attract positive experiences and opportunities in their lives because they are radiating positive energies. On the other hand, negative energy people might be successful in achieving their materialistic desires, but they are more likely to be unhappy, dissatisfied, and in constant conflict with themselves and others.
It's also important to note that negative energies are not the source of true success and happiness. People who are helped by negative energies are not being helped by God or the universe but by darkness or devil. Positive energies, on the other hand, can help us achieve not just material success but also inner peace, satisfaction, and happiness.
In conclusion, positive energies are more powerful than negative energies, and we should strive to cultivate positive energies in ourselves and in the world around us. By doing so, we can attract positive experiences, opportunities, and people into our lives and live a fulfilling and happy life.
Here are some examples of what happens when you adopt negative energies:
You attract negative experiences: When you are filled with negative energies, you are more likely to attract negative experiences and people into your life. This can manifest as things like toxic relationships, financial struggles, and health issues.
You feel unhappy and dissatisfied: Negative energies can lead to feelings of unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and emptiness. Even if you achieve material success, you may still feel unfulfilled and lacking in purpose.
You struggle with anxiety and depression: Negative energies can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. Your negative thoughts and emotions can spiral out of control and make it difficult to function on a daily basis.
You harm yourself and others: Negative energies can cause you to act in harmful ways towards yourself and others. This can manifest as things like self-destructive behaviors, addiction, and aggression towards others.
You lose touch with your true self: When you are consumed by negative energies, it can be difficult to connect with your true self and your higher purpose. You may lose sight of your values and beliefs, and feel disconnected from the world around you.
What happens if you adopt positive energies in you?
Positive energy is a concept that describes the attitude and approach a person has towards their life and others. When someone is filled with positive energy, they tend to be optimistic, caring, empathetic, and compassionate towards others. They radiate kindness, happiness, and peace, which makes them attractive to others. This positive energy can attract positive circumstances, events, and opportunities into their life. On the other hand, negative energy is a state of mind that is associated with pessimism, fear, anger, and anxiety. It can cause stress, frustration, and conflict in a person's life.
The concept of positive and negative energy is not just a spiritual or philosophical idea, but it has been studied by scientists in the field of quantum physics. According to the laws of quantum mechanics, every thought, emotion, and action emits a specific frequency or vibration. Positive emotions like love, gratitude, and compassion emit a high-frequency vibration, whereas negative emotions like fear, anger, and hatred emit a low-frequency vibration. This means that the kind of energy we emit is what we attract into our lives.
When a person adopts positive energies in their life, they tend to attract positive experiences, opportunities, and people. This is because they are aligning themselves with the higher frequencies of the universe. They tend to live a peaceful, happy, and fulfilling life. The positive energy attracts more positive energy, and they become a magnet for abundance and success.
One of the benefits of positive energy is that it can help a person overcome challenges and obstacles. When a person is filled with positive energy, they tend to be more resilient, creative, and resourceful in solving problems. They tend to see opportunities where others see difficulties, and they remain optimistic in the face of adversity. This positive energy can help a person achieve their goals and dreams, and it can also inspire others to follow their lead.
Another benefit of positive energy is that it can bring healing and transformation into a person's life. Positive energy can help a person overcome negative emotions like anger, fear, and resentment. It can also help them heal from past traumas and hurts. When a person is filled with positive energy, they tend to have a more positive outlook on life, which can improve their mental and physical health.
Here are some examples of how positive energies can have a powerful impact on our lives:
Compassion: When we show compassion towards others, we not only help them but also create a positive impact on our own lives. For example, helping a person in need, volunteering for a good cause, or simply listening to someone who needs to talk can give us a sense of purpose and satisfaction.
Gratitude: Being grateful for what we have in life can help us focus on the positive things and give us a sense of contentment. For example, expressing gratitude towards family and friends, being thankful for good health, or being grateful for a roof over our head can help us feel happier and more fulfilled.
Love: Unconditional love is one of the most powerful positive energies. It can help us connect with others, find meaning in life, and overcome difficult situations. For example, showing love towards our partner, family, or friends, or even towards strangers can create a ripple effect of positivity in the world.
Determination: When we have a strong sense of determination, we can achieve great things in life. For example, setting goals and working hard towards them, persevering through obstacles and setbacks, and staying motivated can lead to success and a sense of accomplishment.
Peace: Finding inner peace can help us deal with stress, anxiety, and difficult emotions. For example, practicing mindfulness, meditation, or yoga can help us cultivate inner peace and calmness, which can improve our overall well-being and quality of life.
These are just a few examples of how positive energies can impact our lives in powerful ways. By adopting positive energies in our lives, we can create a ripple effect of positivity and make the world a better place.
Chapter-4
How to overcome your laziness?
Laziness can be a result of many factors, including physical and mental exhaustion, lack of motivation, boredom, fear of failure, and even underlying health issues. When we feel overwhelmed or stressed, our body and mind can become fatigued, leading to a lack of energy and a desire to avoid any additional tasks or responsibilities.
Additionally, our mindset and attitude towards work or tasks can also play a role in our level of laziness. If we lack motivation or enthusiasm for a particular task or project, we may be more inclined to procrastinate or put it off entirely, leading to feelings of laziness.
Furthermore, our lifestyle habits, such as a lack of exercise, poor diet, or inadequate sleep, can also contribute to feelings of laziness and fatigue. When we neglect our physical health, our body and mind can suffer, leading to a lack of energy and a desire to avoid any additional exertion
There are two types of laziness:
1)Mental laziness:
Mental laziness is a state where an individual finds it difficult to engage in mental tasks or make decisions. It can be caused by various factors, including anxiety, depression, and burnout. Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about an upcoming event or something with an uncertain outcome. When an individual is experiencing anxiety, their mind can become too overwhelmed with worry and unable to focus on the task at hand. This can lead to mental laziness, where the individual finds it difficult to engage in mental tasks such as decision-making or problem-solving.
Depression is another factor that can cause mental laziness. It is a mood disorder that can cause a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest in activities that an individual used to enjoy. When an individual is experiencing depression, they may find it challenging to concentrate on mental tasks, leading to mental laziness.
Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. When an individual experiences burnout, they may feel emotionally drained, overwhelmed, and unable to focus on mental tasks. This can lead to mental laziness, where the individual finds it difficult to engage in mental tasks such as decision-making or problem-solving.
Another factor that can cause mental laziness is boredom or lack of motivation towards a particular task. When an individual is not interested in a task, they may find it challenging to focus on it, leading to mental laziness. In such cases, it is essential to find ways to increase motivation towards the task, such as setting goals or finding a way to make the task more interesting.
Remedies for mental laziness:
Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, and yoga can help to reduce stress and anxiety, and improve focus and concentration.
Set small achievable goals: Breaking down a task into small manageable steps can make it less overwhelming and help to improve motivation and productivity.
Take breaks: Taking regular breaks can help to prevent burnout and improve overall mental and physical health. It can also help to increase productivity and focus when returning to a task.
Create a conducive environment: Creating an environment that is conducive to productivity and focus can help to reduce distractions and improve concentration. This can include things like reducing clutter, limiting screen time, and optimizing lighting and temperature.
Find motivation: Finding motivation through things like setting a reward for completing a task, or finding a purpose or meaning in the task can help to improve motivation and reduce mental laziness.
Seek professional help: If mental laziness is caused by underlying mental health issues such as anxiety or depression, seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial.
2) Physical laziness:
Physical laziness is often caused by a lack of physical activity, which could be due to various factors. One of the most common causes is lack of sleep, which can leave a person feeling tired and lethargic throughout the day. When we don't get enough sleep, our body is unable to fully recharge, and we may find it difficult to get out of bed or complete daily tasks.
Poor nutrition is another common factor that can lead to physical laziness. Eating a diet that is low in nutrients and high in processed foods can leave the body feeling sluggish and fatigued. It is important to maintain a balanced diet with a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins to keep the body energized.
A sedentary lifestyle is also a major cause of physical laziness. Sitting for extended periods of time can lead to poor circulation and muscle atrophy, which can leave a person feeling physically weak and unable to perform physical tasks. Incorporating regular exercise into your daily routine, such as walking, jogging, or weightlifting, can help to combat physical laziness and improve overall physical health.
Physical exhaustion is another factor that can contribute to physical laziness. When the body is overworked or fatigued, it can be difficult to muster the energy to perform physical tasks. It is important to take breaks and rest when needed to prevent physical exhaustion and maintain energy levels.
Remedies for physical laziness:
Exercise regularly: Regular exercise can help to improve energy levels, reduce fatigue, and improve overall physical health.
Get enough sleep: Getting adequate sleep is important for physical health and can help to reduce fatigue and improve energy levels.
Eat a balanced diet: A balanced diet that includes a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein can help to provide the body with the necessary nutrients and energy for physical activity.
Take breaks: Taking regular breaks from prolonged periods of sitting or standing can help to prevent physical exhaustion and fatigue.
Stay hydrated: Drinking enough water and staying hydrated is important for physical health and can help to improve energy levels and reduce fatigue.
Chapter-5
Why do you get suicidal thoughts?
Suicidal thoughts are a serious issue that can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, or background. These thoughts involve thinking about death or the act of taking one's own life. Although it's true that people experiencing suicidal thoughts may feel weak or helpless, it's important to understand that suicidal thoughts are not a sign of weakness.
In fact, suicidal thoughts often arise when someone is experiencing overwhelming emotional pain or distress, and they may feel like they have no other way to cope with these feelings. It's important to recognize that suicidal thoughts are a symptom of a larger problem, such as depression, anxiety, or trauma, and that seeking help from a mental health professional is critical.
It's also important to understand that suicidal thoughts are not uncommon. According to the World Health Organization, suicide is a leading cause of death worldwide, and many people experience suicidal thoughts at some point in their lives.
But the real real question is why do you get suscidical thoughts?
There are many reasons for sucidal thoughts like:
When your loved one left you: Losing someone, you love can be one of the most challenging experiences in life. It can lead to feelings of sadness, loneliness, and despair, which can trigger suicidal thoughts.
When you don’t reach your expectations: When people set high expectations for themselves, and they fail to meet those expectations, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness. These feelings can contribute to suicidal thoughts.
When you face failures: Facing failure in any aspect of life, such as career or personal relationships, can be difficult to handle. It can lead to feelings of disappointment and hopelessness, which can make suicidal thoughts more likely.
When you are more concerned about society thinking about you: Social pressure to conform to societal norms and expectations can be intense, and it can lead to feelings of shame and self-doubt. These feelings can contribute to suicidal thoughts.
When you have too much financial burden: Financial difficulties, such as debt or unemployment, can lead to feelings of stress and anxiety. These feelings can become overwhelming and contribute to suicidal thoughts.
When you feel that there is no one for you in this world: Feeling isolated and alone can be incredibly challenging. It can lead to feelings of hopelessness and despair, which can contribute to suicidal thoughts.
When no one is supporting you: Feeling unsupported and alone can be incredibly challenging. It can lead to feelings of hopelessness and despair, which can contribute to suicidal thoughts.
When you are under immense mental stress: Mental stress can come from many sources, such as work, family, or personal relationships. It can lead to feelings of anxiety and overwhelm, which can make suicidal thoughts more likely.
When you have too much of obsession on something or someone: Obsessive thoughts or behaviors can be distressing and can interfere with daily life. They can contribute to feelings of hopelessness and despair, which can make suicidal thoughts more likely.
When you are addicted to something: Addiction can be incredibly challenging to overcome, and it can lead to feelings of hopelessness and despair. These feelings can contribute to suicidal thoughts.
When you feel like you are alone despite having everyone in this world: Feeling disconnected from others, even if you have people around you, can be distressing. It can lead to feelings of hopelessness and despair, which can make suicidal thoughts more likely.
When you won’t get love from your loved one: Rejection or unrequited love can be incredibly challenging to handle. It can lead to feelings of sadness and despair, which can contribute to suicidal thoughts.
When you have incurable diseases or long-term diseases: Chronic illness can be incredibly challenging to live with, and it can lead to feelings of hopelessness and despair. These feelings can contribute to suicidal thoughts.
When you lose hope: Losing hope in the future can be distressing and can make suicidal thoughts more likely.
When you have too many negative thoughts: Negative thoughts, such as self-criticism and self-doubt, can contribute to feelings of hopelessness and despair. These feelings can make suicidal thoughts more likely.
When you have many problems in your life: Facing multiple challenges and stressors in life can be overwhelming. It can lead to feelings of hopelessness and despair, which can contribute to suicidal thoughts
The above few reasons could be the suicidal thoughts initiators.
These three traits are vital in building resilience and helping individuals to cope with life's challenges:
Hope:
Hope is a powerful emotional state that can help individuals to maintain a positive outlook on life, even in the face of difficult circumstances. When we feel hopeful, we are more likely to believe that things will get better, and to see the positive aspects of our lives. This can help to prevent feelings of hopelessness and despair, which are often precursors to suicidal thoughts.
One way to cultivate hope is to focus on the positive aspects of our lives, even when things are difficult. This might involve listing things we are grateful for, reflecting on past successes, or setting goals for the future. By focusing on what we have to be hopeful about, we can maintain a sense of optimism and positivity, which can help us to cope with difficult circumstances.
Confidence:
Confidence is another important trait that can help individuals to avoid suicidal thoughts. When we have confidence in ourselves and our abilities, we are more likely to take risks, try new things, and persist in the face of setbacks. This can help us to overcome feelings of helplessness and inadequacy, which are often associated with suicidal thoughts.
One way to cultivate confidence is to focus on our strengths and accomplishments. This might involve reflecting on past successes, seeking feedback from others, or setting achievable goals. By focusing on what we are good at and what we can achieve, we can build confidence in ourselves and our abilities, which can help us to overcome obstacles and avoid suicidal thoughts.
Courage:
Finally, courage is a key trait that can help individuals to avoid suicidal thoughts. When we have courage, we are more likely to confront our problems head-on, seek help when we need it, and take risks in our personal and professional lives. This can help us to overcome feelings of fear and uncertainty, which can lead to suicidal thoughts.
One way to cultivate courage is to practice facing our fears in small ways. This might involve taking on new challenges, seeking out social support, or confronting difficult emotions. By gradually building our courage in small steps, we can develop the resilience and strength we need to face life's challenges and avoid suicidal thoughts.
In conclusion, hope, confidence, and courage are all important traits that can help individuals to avoid suicidal thoughts. By cultivating these traits in ourselves, we can build resilience, cope with difficult circumstances, and maintain a positive outlook on life.
For example:
I would like to share one of my life experiences that I still remember vividly. There was a time when I faced a lot of financial troubles, mental stress, and failures. I literally lost hope, confidence, and courage in myself. I felt like I was nothing in this life and that there was no one to help me.
One day, while walking alone on a street with a lot of mental pain in me, I came across a construction building where many laborers were working. Unexpectedly, a few drops of white paint fell on my right shoulder. I tried to wipe it off, but I couldn't. I was angry and raised my head to scold the person who did it. When I raised my head, I saw a laborer who was standing on a thin stick without any support and was busy painting the walls of the seventh floor of the new building. He was also whistling with joy.
I was shocked at how a person could be so courageous, hopeful, and confident that he wouldn't fall down while doing such a dangerous job. Due to my problems, I was desperate for answers from him, so I walked up to the seventh floor and asked him about the risk he was taking for his work. He answered that he was born to do this work like his father and had been doing it for twenty years. He had fallen many times and had many injuries from his work, yet he was still continuing for his daily survival.
After listening to his story, I realized that my problems were nothing in front of him. His way of handling work with joy taught me that my problems were very small compared to his, and I should fight my problems with acceptance and joy.
There are certain remedies that can help you get rid of these thoughts:
Watching Comedy and Being Around Funny People: Laughter truly is a great medicine. Engaging with humor, whether through comedy shows, movies, or spending time with funny individuals, triggers the release of endorphins, which are the body's natural feel-good chemicals. This can significantly improve your mood and reduce stress. For example, a good laugh while watching a comedy show can instantly lighten your spirits and shift your focus away from negative thoughts.
Daily Meditation: Meditation is a practice that involves focusing your mind on the present moment, allowing you to calm your thoughts and achieve mental clarity. By practicing meditation daily, you can reduce stress, anxiety, and even depressive feelings. It trains your mind to let go of negative thought patterns and brings about a sense of peace. For instance, spending just 10-15 minutes meditating each day can help you start your day with a clearer and calmer mind.
Reading the Newspaper: Staying informed about current events through reading the newspaper can provide perspective on the world around you. It reminds you that you're not alone in facing challenges and that there are others who are dealing with their own struggles. This broader perspective can reduce feelings of isolation and help you appreciate the positive aspects of your life. For example, reading about individuals overcoming adversity can inspire you to see the potential for change and growth in your own life.
Chanting : The practice of chanting specific mantras, like the Mars lord Hanuman mantra, is based on the belief that certain sounds or vibrations can positively influence mental well-being. In astrology, the positions of celestial bodies are thought to impact various aspects of life, including mental health. Chanting can serve as a form of focused meditation that can improve your sense of strength and courage. For instance, if you find solace in astrology, guided chanting sessions can be incorporated into your daily routine.
Managing Expectations: Letting go of excessive expectations can alleviate disappointment and frustration. When you stop expecting the world to meet all your desires, you can appreciate what you have in the present moment. This shift in perspective can reduce stress and help you cultivate gratitude. For example, if you expect a lot from your career or relationships, you might constantly feel let down. By adjusting your expectations, you can find contentment in smaller achievements.
Being Practical vs. Fantasy: Being grounded in reality is crucial for mental well-being. While having dreams and aspirations is healthy, living solely in a fantasy world can lead to dissatisfaction and neglect of present responsibilities. Strive to set achievable goals and make practical plans to work towards them. For instance, if you dream of a successful career, take steps to gain the necessary skills and experience, rather than solely relying on luck.
Balancing Expectations: Similarly, having realistic expectations from the world can prevent unnecessary disappointment. Acknowledge that while the world has its wonders, it also has its challenges. By adopting a balanced perspective, you can navigate setbacks with resilience and make the most of opportunities.
Emotional Balance: Emotions are an essential part of being human, but allowing emotions to overwhelm you can be detrimental. Practicing emotional intelligence involves understanding and managing your feelings effectively. Instead of suppressing emotions, learn to acknowledge and process them in a healthy manner. For example, if you're feeling overwhelmed by sadness, you could engage in activities that bring you joy or seek support from a friend or professional.
Chapter-6
How to control your thoughts?
Our mind is a powerful tool that can generate thousands of thoughts every day. However, not all of these thoughts are useful or productive for us. In fact, many of them can be negative, uncontrolled, and harmful to our well-being. These thoughts can create unnecessary mental noise that can weaken our memory, reduce our concentration, and make us less productive.
Having thoughts is not inherently bad. In fact, thoughts can be good for us, but only if they have a direction and a positive destination. Good thoughts can increase our intelligence, observation skills, and help us achieve our desires. They can help us focus on the present moment and create a positive outlook towards life.
On the other hand, bad thoughts can deviate us from our path and create a lack of focus on our work or task. These negative thoughts can be related to our past, present, or future, and they depend on our negative thinking. Negative thoughts can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression, and can ultimately affect our mental health.
Can we control our thoughts?,yes we can control them with the help fallowing techniques.But prior to that first we should identify or analyze the type of thought.
When we try to analyze our thoughts, we need to pay attention to the type of thoughts that we are having. This means paying attention to the content, tone, and direction of our thoughts. Once we have identified the type of thoughts we are having, we can work on controlling or redirecting them.
Overall, by analyzing our thoughts and identifying the type of thoughts we are having, we can work on controlling or redirecting them to improve our mental well-being and achieve our goals.
There are four types of thoughts:
Past thoughts: These are the thoughts that relate to our past experiences, memories, and events. They can be positive or negative and can have a significant impact on our present and future. Positive past thoughts can give us a sense of nostalgia, inspiration, and motivation, while negative past thoughts can lead to regret, guilt, and trauma.
Examples: Reminiscing about a childhood memory, feeling nostalgic about a past relationship, regretting a decision made in the past, feeling guilty about a mistake made in the past.
Present thoughts: These are the thoughts that relate to our current situation, environment, and surroundings. They can be related to our physical sensations, emotions, and experiences. Present thoughts are essential for our daily functioning and help us to make decisions and take actions.
Examples: Feeling hungry and thinking about what to eat for lunch, feeling happy and grateful for spending time with loved ones, feeling stressed and anxious about a deadline at work.
Future thoughts: These are the thoughts that relate to our future plans, goals, and aspirations. They can be positive or negative and can impact our motivation and actions in the present. Future thoughts are essential for setting goals, making plans, and creating a vision for our lives.
Examples: Planning a vacation for next year, thinking about career aspirations, setting personal goals for the future, worrying about the outcome of an upcoming event.
Illusionary thoughts: These are the thoughts that are not based on reality and can be either positive or negative. Illusionary thoughts can be related to fantasies, dreams, fears, or false beliefs. They can be harmful if they prevent us from accepting reality and taking appropriate actions.
Examples: Fantasizing about a perfect life without any problems, fearing something that is unlikely to happen, believing in a conspiracy theory without any evidence, dreaming about winning the lottery.
In summary, our thoughts play a crucial role in shaping our emotions, behaviors, and overall well-being. It's important to be aware of the different types of thoughts we have and their impact on our lives. By developing a positive mindset and managing our thoughts effectively, we can improve our mental health, relationships, and quality of life.
Techniques to fallow for avoiding unnecessary thoughts:
1.Improve your concentration:
Improving your concentration is an important aspect of controlling your thoughts. By learning how to focus on one task at a time without distractions, you can increase your productivity and reduce the number of unnecessary thoughts that occupy your mind.
To improve your concentration, start by breaking down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable parts. This helps to reduce overwhelm and makes it easier to stay focused on the task at hand. For example, if you need to write a research paper, break it down into smaller tasks such as researching the topic, outlining your ideas, and writing the first draft.
Once you have broken down the task, create a schedule for completing each part. Allocate specific times for each task, and make sure to take short breaks in between to prevent burnout.
To avoid distractions, create an environment that is conducive to concentration. This may involve finding a quiet space where you can work without interruption, or using noise-cancelling headphones to block out any external noise.
2.Train your mind to be in the present:
Training your mind to be in the present is a powerful technique to reduce unnecessary thoughts and improve mental well-being. Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present and engaged in the current moment, without judgment or distraction. Here are some ways to train your mind to be in the present:
-Mindful walking: When you go for a walk, pay attention to the sights, sounds, and sensations around you. Focus on your breathing and the movement of your body.
-Mindful eating: Take your time while eating, and focus on the taste, texture, and smell of your food. This can help you be more present and enjoy your food more.
-Mindful listening: When you're having a conversation, give the other person your full attention. Listen carefully to what they're saying, and try to understand their perspective.
3.Do meditation or yoga every day:
Regular practice of meditation or yoga can help reduce stress and anxiety, and improve focus and concentration.
4.Try to be practical, instead of being in the fantasy world:
Being in a fantasy world can be tempting, especially when we face difficult situations or when we feel stressed or anxious. However, it is important to remember that dwelling on unrealistic scenarios or daydreaming excessively can lead to negative consequences, such as procrastination, lack of productivity, and even depression.
To avoid being in the fantasy world and instead being practical, you need to start by acknowledging the present reality and accepting it. This means that you need to face the facts and identify what needs to be done in order to solve a particular problem or achieve a goal.
You can also practice focusing on the practical steps you can take to improve a situation, rather than getting lost in unrealistic scenarios. This means breaking down larger problems into smaller, more manageable parts and then developing a plan to address each one.
Finally, it is important to seek out support from others who can help you stay grounded in reality and provide practical advice and solutions. This can be a friend, family member, or a professional such as a therapist or counselor. By staying practical and focusing on solutions, you can build resilience and improve your overall mental health and well being.
5.Focus on your work: Focusing on work is essential for productivity and to reduce unnecessary thoughts. Distractions can reduce the efficiency and quality of work, leading to stress and frustration.Find a quiet place to work, free from noise and distractions and turn off your phone and social media notifications while you are on work.
6.Have eight hours of sleep every day: Getting enough sleep is crucial for maintaining a healthy mind and body. Adults typically need 7-9 hours of sleep per night, and children and teenagers require even more. Lack of sleep can lead to a variety of negative effects on mental health, including difficulty concentrating, memory problems, mood swings, and increased stress and anxiety.
To ensure you get enough sleep, establish a regular sleep schedule and try to stick to it as much as possible, even on weekends. Avoid consuming caffeine or alcohol close to bedtime, and create a relaxing bedtime routine to help signal to your body that it's time to wind down. You may also find it helpful to create a calming sleep environment by keeping your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet.
7.Stop worrying about your past and future.
Excessive worrying about the past and future can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety, which can in turn lead to unhelpful thoughts. It is important to learn to let go of negative thoughts or regrets about the past and move on from them. Similarly, worrying about the future can lead to feelings of uncertainty and anxiety, which can also affect your thoughts and emotions.
8.Don’t be too desirous: Being too desirous means constantly craving for things or outcomes that are beyond our control or may not even be necessary for our well-being. This can lead to stress, frustration, and disappointment. Instead, it is important to focus on what truly matters in life and find contentment in the present moment. Practicing gratitude and mindfulness can help shift our focus towards the positive aspects of our life and reduce the constant need for external validation or material possessions.
9.Setting Small Goals:
Having achievable goals can give you a sense of purpose and direction. Instead of aiming for monumental changes overnight, break down your larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. For example, if your aim is to become a skilled guitarist, start by learning a new chord each week and gradually building your repertoire.
10.Avoiding Idleness:
Staying active and engaged can prevent boredom and promote positive mental well-being. Engage in activities that interest you, such as painting, playing a sport, or volunteering for a cause you care about. This keeps your mind occupied and provides a sense of accomplishment. For instance, joining a local community garden can keep you engaged while nurturing your love for plants.
11.Monitoring Iron Levels:
Nutritional deficiencies, such as low iron levels, can impact cognitive function. Regular health check-ups and maintaining a balanced diet can help you identify and address such issues. If you notice persistent fatigue and lack of focus, a blood test can determine if iron deficiency is a contributing factor.
12.Cultivating Positivity: The company you keep and the content you consume can significantly affect your mental state. Surround yourself with positive individuals who uplift and support you. Additionally, limit exposure to negative news and media that can amplify stress and anxiety. Following motivational social media accounts or reading inspiring books can contribute to your positive environment.
13.Observation Skills:
Practicing mindfulness and observing your surroundings can enhance your focus and attention to detail. Engage in activities that require close observation, such as birdwatching or sketching. Paying attention to the subtle beauty around you can help you become more present in the moment. For example, taking a nature walk and noticing the intricate patterns on leaves and flowers can enhance your observation skills.
14.Pursuing Interests and Passions:
Engaging in activities aligned with your interests and passions can bring joy and fulfillment to your life. Avoid tasks or commitments that feel disinterested or drain your energy. For instance, if you're passionate about cooking, dedicating time to experiment with new recipes can be more engaging and satisfying than doing tasks that you find uninteresting.
15.Balancing Electronic Device Usage:
Limiting your time spent on electronic devices, especially when it involves mindless scrolling or excessive screen time, can help manage stress and anxiety. Engage in activities that don't involve screens, like spending quality time with loved ones, practicing a musical instrument, or going for a nature walk. Reducing electronic gadget usage can create a healthier balance in your daily routine.
Conclusion
Incorporating these practices into your lifestyle can contribute to your overall mental well-being and help you navigate challenges with resilience and positivity. Remember that everyone's journey is unique, so it's important to find what strategies resonate with you and tailor them to suit your individual needs and circumstances.
Chapter-7
You are not a failure
Failure is a part of life and it can happen to anyone. It is important to remember that failure is not a reflection of your intelligence, worth, or ability. Many successful people have experienced multiple failures before achieving success. It is important to embrace failure as a learning experience and use it to grow and improve.
If you are facing failures in your studies, it does not mean that you are not intelligent or capable of learning. It may mean that you need to change your study habits, seek additional help, or try a different approach to learning. Remember, everyone learns differently and at their own pace.
If you are facing failures in your relationships, it does not mean that you are not likable or worthy of love. Relationships are complex and require effort from both parties. It may mean that you need to communicate more effectively, compromise, or seek professional help.
If you are facing failures in your profession, it does not mean that you are a failure or a loser. It may mean that you need to acquire new skills, seek additional education or training, or pursue a different career path.
In the phase of failure, it is common to experience stress and discouragement. However, it is important to maintain hope and faith in yourself, even in the worst of scenarios. Instead of taking failure personally and letting it damage your ego, view it as a learning opportunity. This shift in mindset can help you grow and improve in the future.
People around you may try to discourage you with negative comments or labels, but it is important to remember that their opinions do not define you. You should avoid taking their words seriously or letting them affect your mental health. Instead, focus on your own skills, strengths, and abilities, and continue to work towards your goals.
Human life is filled with many hardships, hurdles and failures, but when you surpass them, your life will transform like a butterfly.
It is true that failures are a part of life, and this applies to all aspects of life, including personal, professional, and financial. It is often said that success is not final, and failure is not fatal. Successful people are not immune to failures, but what sets them apart is how they handle failures.
When we look at the examples of famous celebrities, sports personalities, and business leaders, we can see that they have all faced failures at some point in their lives. The important thing to note is that they did not give up in the face of these failures. Instead, they learned from their mistakes and used these experiences to grow and improve themselves.
For instance, Amitabh Bachchan faced severe professional and financial failures before he found success with the game show Kaun Banega Crorepati. Sachin Tendulkar, who is considered the God of cricket, also faced failures as a captain in his career. And Vijay Mallya, the billionaire businessman, had to face severe failures after the downfall of Kingfisher Airlines.
It is important to remember that failures are not permanent, and they do not define who we are. In fact, they can serve as a valuable learning experience and help us grow as individuals. We should not let failures bring us down or make us lose hope. Instead, we should use these experiences to become mentally strong and develop resilience.
Being mentally strong means that we can handle difficult situations without giving up or losing hope. It also means that we have the ability to adapt to change and learn from our mistakes. When we are faced with failures, it is important to keep in mind that they are not forever. We should not let them define us, but instead, we should focus on learning from them and moving forward with renewed determination and a positive attitude.
Few reasons for failures in your life:
1.Lack of confidence: Confidence is a key factor in achieving success. If you lack confidence in yourself, it can be easy for someone to let you down or you might give up quickly in tough circumstances. It's important to have faith in yourself and believe that you can overcome any obstacles that come your way.
2.Failing to identify opportunities: Opportunities are all around us, but sometimes we fail to identify them due to stress or lack of awareness. It's important to keep an open mind and be aware of the opportunities around us. This will help us take advantage of them and move forward in life.
3.Repeating mistakes: If we keep making the same mistakes over and over again, it's hard to achieve success. It's important to learn from our mistakes and make changes to our approach. Being stubborn or egoistic will only lead to further failures. It's important to be flexible and adaptable in our approach to life.
4.Wrong way of convincing: Sometimes, we may have the right ideas, but we fail to present them in the right way. It's important to be clear and concise in our communication and ensure that we are able to convey our message effectively.
5.Attempting in wrong fields: Sometimes, we may invest our time and energy in the wrong fields. It's important to identify our strengths and weaknesses and focus on the areas where we can excel. This will help us achieve success and avoid failures.
6.Failing to identify your strengths and weaknesses: It's crucial to know your strengths and weaknesses to succeed in any endeavor. Not understanding your strengths can lead to underutilization of your potential, while not recognizing your weaknesses can lead to making mistakes that could have been avoided. For example, a person who is not good at public speaking but overestimates their ability may fail to deliver a successful presentation, damaging their reputation and losing potential business opportunities.
7.Failing to understand the trends in the market: To succeed in any business, it's essential to understand the market trends and the needs of the customers. If you ignore the trends or fail to adapt to changing customer needs, your business will likely fail. For instance, Blockbuster, a video rental company, did not recognize the rise of online streaming and continued to rely on in-store rentals. As a result, they went bankrupt while companies like Netflix, which adapted to the trend of online streaming, thrived.
8.Overconfidence: Confidence is necessary for success, but overconfidence can lead to making poor decisions, ignoring feedback, and not being open to learning from mistakes. For example, a trader who is overconfident about their ability to predict market trends may take excessive risks, leading to significant losses.
9.Fear of failure: Fear of failure can hold individuals back from taking risks and trying new things, which can prevent them from achieving success. For instance, a student who is afraid of failing a test may not put in enough effort to prepare for it, leading to a poor performance.
10.Taking hasty decisions: Making decisions hastily without considering all the facts and potential outcomes can lead to disastrous consequences. For example, a business owner who hastily decides to launch a new product without proper market research and testing may find that it does not meet customer needs or is not profitable.
11.Wrong risks: Taking risks is necessary for success, but taking the wrong risks can lead to failure. For example, a person who invests all their savings into a high-risk investment without fully understanding the potential downsides may lose all their money.
12.Lack of knowledge on your work: Without sufficient knowledge and understanding of your work or industry, it's challenging to make informed decisions and achieve success. For example, a software developer who lacks knowledge of coding may struggle to write efficient code, leading to poor performance or software failure.
Few things you should do when you are undergoing through failures are:
Never give up until you reach your success: This is perhaps the most important thing to remember. Failure can be demotivating, but it is important to persevere and keep working towards your goals. Keep pushing yourself, learning from your mistakes, and trying new things.
Don't be afraid of your failures, instead be courageous: Fear of failure can hold you back and prevent you from taking risks or pursuing your dreams. Instead, be courageous and embrace your failures as opportunities to learn and grow.
"For your goals,
you should arise when you fall,
you should awake when you sleep,
you should think when you lost, and finally you should
bounce back when you fall. "
Never care about the people around you who are demotivating you or making fun of you:
It's important to surround yourself with positive, supportive people who believe in you and your abilities. Don't let negative or unsupportive people bring you down or discourage you from pursuing your goals.
Always learn from your failures and try to identify the reasons behind failures:
Failure can provide valuable lessons that can help you improve and achieve success in the future. Take the time to reflect on your failures, identify the reasons behind them, and use that knowledge to make better decisions in the future.
Identify your opportunities around you, or create opportunities:
Opportunities are all around us, but sometimes it can be difficult to identify them, especially when we are focused on our failures or obstacles. However, by actively seeking out opportunities, we can create new possibilities for ourselves and achieve our goals. Here are some ways to identify and create opportunities:
Networking: One of the best ways to create new opportunities is to network with others. Attend industry events, join professional organizations, and connect with like-minded individuals on social media. Building relationships with people in your field can lead to new job opportunities, collaborations, or even mentorship.
Trying new things: Sometimes, new opportunities can arise when we step outside of our comfort zone and try new things. This can be as simple as trying a new hobby or taking a class in a new skill. You never know where a new interest or experience may lead you.
Pursuing new passions: Following your passions can also lead to new opportunities. Whether it's starting a side hustle or volunteering for a cause you care about, pursuing your passions can open doors to new experiences and connections.
Seeking out challenges: Opportunities can also arise when we challenge ourselves to take on new challenges. Whether it's learning a new skill, taking on a leadership role, or starting a new project, pushing yourself beyond your limits can lead to personal and professional growth, as well as new opportunities.
Identifying gaps in the market: Finally, you can create your own opportunities by identifying gaps in the market or areas where there is a need for a specific product or service. This can lead to the creation of a new business or product, or the opportunity to collaborate with others in the industry.
For example, imagine you are an aspiring musician who has been struggling to find gigs. Instead of giving up, you decide to attend local music events and network with other musicians. Through these connections, you discover an opportunity to join a new band and start playing more shows. You also start taking voice lessons and attending open mic nights to improve your skills and increase your exposure. Eventually, your hard work and dedication lead to more opportunities, such as recording your own music and going on tour
Don't lose your confidence on yourself because only self-confidence can take you ahead:
Self-confidence is a belief in your own abilities, qualities, and judgment. It is an essential ingredient for success, as it helps you navigate challenges, take risks, and pursue your goals with conviction. However, it is natural to experience setbacks and failures in life, which can shake your confidence and make you doubt yourself. In such situations, it is important not to lose your confidence and keep believing in yourself.
One of the key ways to maintain self-confidence is to focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Instead of dwelling on your failures, take time to reflect on your successes and achievements. Celebrate your victories, no matter how small they may seem. This can help you build a positive self-image and enhance your confidence in your abilities.
It is also important to set realistic goals for yourself and break them down into smaller, achievable tasks. This can help you build momentum and gain a sense of accomplishment as you progress towards your goals. Each accomplishment can reinforce your self-confidence and inspire you to take on bigger challenges.
Another way to boost your confidence is to surround yourself with positive and supportive people. Seek out mentors, friends, or family members who believe in you and your abilities. Their encouragement and feedback can help you build your self-confidence and overcome self-doubt.
Often listen to inspiring music, because music has the power to change your emotions:
Music has the power to evoke emotions, memories, and feelings in people. Listening to inspiring music can be a great way to boost your mood and motivation. Inspirational music can be found in many different genres, such as pop, rock, hip-hop, classical, and more. The lyrics, rhythm, melody, and overall sound of music can all play a role in changing your emotions and mindset.
Listening to music can have a positive impact on your mental health by reducing stress, anxiety, and depression. It can also enhance your overall well-being by boosting your mood and increasing feelings of happiness and positivity. Inspirational music, in particular, can help you feel motivated, empowered, and encouraged to pursue your goals.
For example, imagine you are feeling demotivated and stuck in a rut. You can choose to listen to upbeat and motivational music, such as "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor or "Roar" by Katy Perry. These songs have empowering lyrics and a fast tempo, which can help you feel energized and motivated to keep pushing forward.
Similarly, if you are feeling down or going through a tough time, listening to emotional and uplifting music can be helpful. Songs like "Fix You" by Coldplay or "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor can offer comfort and hope during challenging times.
Moreover, music can also be a great way to express your emotions and release pent-up feelings. Writing, singing, or playing music can help you process and cope with difficult emotions in a healthy way.
Pray to lord hanuman often because lord hanuman is the symbol of courage and will power:
For many people, prayer and spirituality can be a source of comfort, strength, and guidance. In Hinduism, Lord Hanuman is regarded as a symbol of courage, willpower, and devotion. By praying to Lord Hanuman, one can seek inspiration and guidance to overcome challenges and pursue their goals.
Prayer can be a powerful tool to calm the mind, reduce stress, and help one focus on their goals. By offering prayers to Lord Hanuman, one can seek the blessings and guidance of the deity. It can also help one develop a sense of gratitude and humility, which can be beneficial in cultivating a positive attitude towards life.
Lord Hanuman is often portrayed as a devotee of Lord Rama, who exemplifies courage, righteousness, and sacrifice. By invoking the spirit of Lord Hanuman, one can gain the strength and determination to face challenges with courage and perseverance. Hanuman Chalisa, a hymn in praise of Lord Hanuman, is widely recited by Hindus as a means of seeking blessings and guidance from the deity.
In addition to prayer, practicing Hanuman yoga poses, such as the Hanuman asana, can also be a way to connect with the deity and cultivate strength and flexibility. These poses require physical strength and mental focus, which can help one develop a sense of discipline and determination.
It is worth noting that while prayer and spirituality can be beneficial for many, it is not a substitute for professional help or medical treatment in case of mental health issues. It is always essential to seek help from qualified professionals when needed.
Don't become depressed because sometimes it takes more time to taste the success:
It is not uncommon to face setbacks and failures when pursuing your goals. However, it is crucial not to let those failures get you down and instead stay optimistic and persistent. One key to success is perseverance, which requires you to keep moving forward even when things get tough.
For instance, imagine that you have been applying for a job for months, but you haven't received any positive responses yet. You might start feeling discouraged and begin to question your skills and abilities. You may also start to feel down, thinking that you are not good enough. However, instead of letting these negative thoughts take over, you should keep pushing forward.
Remind yourself of your strengths and skills and continue to improve them. Try to seek feedback from those who can help you improve your job search strategies, and learn from the mistakes made in previous applications. Keep a positive attitude and focus on the possibilities and opportunities that lie ahead.
Remember that success often takes time, and setbacks are just temporary. Every failure brings valuable lessons, and each rejection brings you closer to the right opportunity. If you give up, you will never know what could have been. Instead, focus on the progress you have made so far, no matter how small it may seem.
Be optimistic and positive that you will taste success in the future:
Being optimistic and positive is a powerful tool that can help you overcome obstacles and achieve your goals. It allows you to focus on the possibilities and opportunities that lie ahead, rather than dwelling on past failures or setbacks. By believing in yourself and your abilities, you can develop the confidence and motivation you need to take action and pursue your dreams.
For example, imagine you have been working on a new business idea for months, but it seems like everything is going wrong. Your website crashed, your suppliers are delayed, and your marketing strategy is not working as planned. It is easy to feel discouraged and frustrated in this situation, but maintaining a positive attitude can help you find the silver lining and keep moving forward.
Instead of dwelling on the setbacks, focus on the progress you have made so far. Think about the skills and knowledge you have gained throughout the process and how they will help you in the future. Revisit your original vision and remind yourself why you started this business in the first place. By keeping a positive mindset, you can come up with creative solutions to your problems and stay motivated to achieve your goals.
Cultivating an optimistic and positive mindset is an essential ingredient for success. It helps you stay motivated, focused, and resilient in the face of challenges and setbacks. By believing in yourself and your abilities, you can unlock your full potential and achieve great things.
Identify the reasons behind your failures and overcome them:
Finally, it's important to take a proactive approach to failure. Identify the reasons behind your failures and work to overcome them. Whether it's improving your skills, changing your approach, or seeking support, taking action can help you move past your failures and achieve success.
Chapter-8
How are we falling in love for a relationship these days?
Love is a beautiful emotion that God created in this world. Without love, no living being exists because love plays a major role since the inception of our birth. In childhood, we experience parental love, in boyhood, we receive love from our friends, and in adulthood, we experience love from partners in romantic relationships. Finally, after becoming mature, we experience love from our spouse. Love has become an experience in different stages of life. For most people, love in relationships has become a big priority because we spend nearly 70% of our lifespan with our partners in a romantic relationship, both before and after marriage.
Every relationship starts with materialistic desires from the person whom you are attracted to in the form of looks, physique, personality, character, and status. This is because there is no such a thing as "love at first sight." However, every relationship starts with attraction but later transforms into love due to care, compassion, empathy, and responsibilities.
The reasons for falling in love with someone you know are:
Hormonal changes in your body:
Falling in love can be driven by hormonal changes in your body, particularly the release of dopamine, oxytocin, and adrenaline. Dopamine is associated with pleasure and reward, while oxytocin is associated with bonding and attachment. Adrenaline can cause your heart to race and your palms to sweat, which can create a feeling of excitement or anxiety. These chemicals can be triggered by physical attraction, emotional connection, or a combination of both.
Social pressure:
Sometimes people may fall in love with someone they know because of social pressure. This could include pressure from family, friends, or society to find a partner, get married, or have children. It could also involve pressure to conform to certain cultural or religious expectations around relationships and marriage.
Emotional need:
Falling in love can fulfill emotional needs such as companionship, intimacy, and security. People may seek out a relationship because they feel lonely or unfulfilled in other areas of their life, such as their career or personal goals.
Physical need:
Sometimes people may fall in love with someone they know because of a physical need, such as sexual attraction or desire. Physical attraction can be a powerful force, but it's important to note that a relationship based solely on physical attraction may not be sustainable in the long run.
Loneliness:
People who feel lonely or isolated may seek out a relationship as a way to fill a void in their life. This can be especially true for people who have recently experienced a breakup or the loss of a loved one.
Physical greed:
In some cases, people may be attracted to someone primarily for their material possessions or social status. This can be referred to as "gold digging" or seeking out a "sugar daddy" or "sugar mama".
Materialistic desires:
Similar to physical greed, some people may be attracted to others because of their wealth, status, or possessions. They may see a relationship as a way to improve their own financial or social standing.
Impatience to be single:
Some people may fear being single and rush into a relationship as a way to avoid being alone. This can be a mistake if the relationship isn't a good match or if it's based on unrealistic expectations.
Addiction to a relationship:
Finally, some people may become addicted to the emotional high of being in a relationship. This can lead to a pattern of jumping from one relationship to another without taking the time to reflect on what they really want or need from a partner.
It's worth noting that falling in love is often a complex and multifaceted experience that can't be reduced to a single reason or explanation. Different factors may influence why someone falls in love with someone they know, and these factors can vary from person to person.
Mistakes which everyone are doing prior starting a relationship:
If you are looking for a perfect partner then why can’t you wait for a right person? Why can’t you control your physical and mental needs? Why do you become impatient for a relationship?
Lack of patience:
Many people rush into a relationship without really getting to know the person they are interested in. They may be impatient to find a partner or feel like they are running out of time, which can cause them to overlook red flags or incompatible traits. It's important to take the time to get to know someone before committing to a relationship to ensure that they are a good match for you in the long term.
Attracted to materialistic desires:
It's easy to be drawn to someone who appears to have everything you want in a partner, such as wealth, good looks, or social status. However, these superficial qualities don't necessarily guarantee a successful relationship. It's important to look beyond the surface level and consider other factors, such as shared values, interests, and goals.
Afraid of being alone:
Many people enter into relationships out of a fear of being alone, even if they aren't truly compatible with their partner. This can lead to settling for someone who isn't a good fit, or staying in a relationship that isn't healthy or fulfilling. It's important to learn to be comfortable with yourself and to develop your own interests and passions, so that you can enter into a relationship from a place of strength and confidence.
Pressure from society:
There can be a lot of pressure from family, friends, and society in general to be in a relationship or to conform to certain relationship norms. This can lead people to make choices that aren't true to themselves or to settle for someone who isn't a good match. It's important to remember that your happiness and fulfillment should be your top priority, regardless of what others may think or expect.
Feeling bad for being single:
Similar to the above point, there can be a lot of stigma around being single, which can make people feel like they need to be in a relationship to be considered successful or happy. However, being single can be a wonderful opportunity to focus on personal growth and to develop meaningful connections with friends and family. It's important to recognize that being single doesn't mean there is something wrong with you, and that you are deserving of love and happiness regardless of your relationship status.
Coming out of a breakup:
After a breakup, it's common to feel lonely or like you need to find someone new to fill the void. However, it's important to take the time to process your emotions and to reflect on what you really want in a partner and in a relationship. Rushing into a new relationship too soon can lead to repeating the same patterns and making the same mistakes as before.
Lack of emotional stability:
Being in a relationship requires emotional maturity and stability. If you are struggling with your own emotional issues or haven't worked through past traumas, it can be difficult to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship. It's important to prioritize your own mental health and to seek support if needed, so that you can be in a good place to enter into a relationship.
Things to do prior starting a relationship:
Be patient until you find the right person: It's important to take your time and not rush into a relationship just because you feel pressure from society or because you're afraid of being alone. By waiting for the right person, you increase your chances of finding someone who is compatible with you and shares similar values and goals for the future.
Example: If you've recently come out of a breakup, take some time to heal and reflect on what went wrong. Don't immediately jump into a new relationship just to fill the void.
Understand their character very well: It's important to get to know someone beyond just their physical appearance or initial attraction. Understand their personality, values, and beliefs to determine if they align with yours.
Example: Spend time talking and getting to know the person before deciding to enter into a relationship. Ask them questions about their interests, hobbies, and values to gain a better understanding of who they are as a person.
Control your physical and mental desires: While physical attraction is important in a relationship, it shouldn't be the sole reason for starting one. It's important to control your physical and mental desires to ensure that you're entering into a relationship for the right reasons.
Example: Don't rush into a relationship just because you're physically attracted to someone or because you're lonely. Make sure you have a deeper connection beyond just physical attraction.
Analyze whether you can be happy with him/her or not: It's important to determine if you can see yourself being happy with the person in the long run. This involves assessing compatibility, shared values, and goals.
Example: Think about what you want out of a relationship and whether the person you're considering is compatible with those desires. Consider if you share similar values and goals for the future.
Share your future plans with him/her: It's important to discuss future plans with your partner to ensure that you're both on the same page and have similar expectations for the future.
Example: Discuss things like marriage, children, career aspirations, and travel plans to ensure that you're both aligned with each other's future goals.
Don’t be allured towards their physical attraction: While physical attraction is important, it shouldn't be the sole reason for starting a relationship. It's important to get to know the person beyond just their physical appearance.
Example: Don't let physical attraction blind you to red flags or incompatibilities in the relationship. Make sure you're building a connection beyond just physical attraction.
Try to be honest about yourself: It's important to be honest about who you are as a person, your strengths and weaknesses, and your expectations for the relationship.
Example: Don't try to present a false persona or hide certain aspects of yourself in order to impress the other person. Being honest from the start will lead to a more authentic and meaningful relationship.
Ask their opinion on you: It's important to understand how the other person views you to ensure that you're both on the same page about the relationship.
Example: Ask the other person for their opinion on your compatibility, shared interests, and values to ensure that you're both looking for the same things in a relationship.
Both should share your likes and dislikes: It's important to have shared interests and likes, but it's also important to acknowledge and respect each other's differences.
Example: Discuss your likes and dislikes to ensure that you have common ground to build a relationship on. But also respect each other's differences and be open to learning new things from each other.
Try to adjust in few things: It's important to understand that no one is perfect, and you'll likely have to make some compromises in a relationship. Trying to adjust in few things means being willing to compromise and make small changes to accommodate your partner's needs and preferences. It's not about changing yourself completely, but rather finding a balance that works for both of you.
For example, let's say you are a neat freak and like everything to be organized and clean, but your partner is more laid back and messy. Instead of constantly nagging your partner to clean up, you could compromise by agreeing to have designated areas where each of you can keep your things organized and tidy. You could also come up with a cleaning schedule that works for both of you.
Another example could be if you have different interests and hobbies. You could try to find common ground and engage in activities that you both enjoy, or you could agree to give each other space to pursue your own interests without feeling neglected or unimportant.
The key is to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your needs and expectations, and be willing to compromise to create a healthy and happy relationship.