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Table of contents
1.How to make a good decision?
2. Late success
3. How to be happy in your life?
4. How to excel in your career?
5. How to be happy in your life?
6. How to overcome loneliness?
7. How to fight your problems?
8. Being practical vs positive in a relationship
9. Career or love?
10. Why few people can’t come out from a breakup quickly?
CHAPTER-1
How to make a good decision?
Making good decisions is an essential part of life, and it can greatly affect our future outcomes.
Every good decision making requires good wisdom, good mental stability, understanding and predicting the results.
If you consider the decision making of an intelligent person or successful person then I am sure that you will find the above qualities in him/her. Whereas unsuccessful people take bad decisions due to their lack of awareness, impatience, obsession and lazzieness.
Process of a decision making:
Identify the decision you need to make: The first step in making a good decision is to be clear about the problem or situation that requires a decision. Take the time to understand the issue and define the problem.
Gather information: Gather all the relevant information that will help you make an informed decision. This could include research, data, opinions from others, and your own past experiences. Take the time to analyze the information and evaluate its relevance and reliability.
Make a decision: Based on the information you have gathered and the analysis you have done, make a decision. Choose the option that best meets your objectives and criteria.
Take action: Once you have made a decision, take action. Implement your plan and monitor the results. Adjust your plan as necessary based on feedback and outcomes.
Reflect on your decision: Reflect on your decision-making process and the results of your decision. Learn from your experiences and use them to make better decisions in the future. Evaluate the effectiveness of your decision-making process and identify areas for improvement.
First let me explain you about the how unsuccessful people take bad decision making in detail
Lack of Awareness: Unsuccessful people often make poor decisions due to a lack of awareness. They may not be fully informed about the situation or the available options, which can lead to uninformed choices. They may also lack the experience or knowledge necessary to make good judgments. In some cases, they may simply be unaware of the consequences of their decisions.
Impatience: Impatience is another quality that can lead to poor decision-making. A person who is impatient may make hasty decisions without considering all the available information. They may also be more likely to take risks or choose the first option that presents itself, without weighing the potential consequences. In contrast, a patient person takes the time to gather information and consider their options before making a decision.
Obsession: Obsession is another quality that can negatively impact decision-making. A person who is obsessed may become fixated on a particular outcome or option, which can blind them to other possibilities. They may also become so focused on achieving their desired outcome that they overlook potential risks or negative consequences. In contrast, a person who is open-minded and flexible is more likely to consider multiple options and make a well-informed decision.
Laziness: Finally, laziness can also lead to poor decision-making. A person who is lazy may not do hard work and often tries to take short cuts.
Now I will tell you about good decision making.
There are a few ways for a good decision making:
Think from the negative side too before decision making:
Thinking from the negative side before making a decision can be a very effective strategy for making good decisions. This approach allows you to consider all the possible outcomes and helps you avoid making a decision based on incomplete information or emotional biases. It involves analyzing the situation from both positive and negative perspectives before making a final decision.
When we consider the negative side of a decision, it allows us to identify the potential risks, drawbacks, and unintended consequences. By recognizing these negative factors, we can take steps to minimize or mitigate them, making our decision more robust and resilient. This approach helps us make more informed and thoughtful decisions, and it helps us avoid impulsiveness and impulsiveness-based mistakes.
In the example of investing in a company, if you only consider the positive aspects, you might become too optimistic and overlook the potential risks and negative consequences of your investment. You might invest your money without proper research or understanding of the company, leading to losses in the long run. However, if you consider the negative aspects as well, you can identify the potential risks and take steps to mitigate them. For instance, you might conduct thorough research on the company's financial performance, management, industry trends, and competitive landscape to identify any red flags and make an informed decision.
Thinking from the negative side can also help you prepare for worst-case scenarios. By anticipating potential negative outcomes, you can prepare contingency plans, be ready to react to unexpected situations, and avoid getting caught off guard. This can reduce your stress and anxiety levels and increase your confidence in making decisions.
Some more examples of thinking from the negative side before making a decision:
Example 1: Before buying a house, thinking about the potential drawbacks of the property such as its location, potential repairs, and maintenance costs.
Example 2:Before accepting a job offer, considering the negative aspects of the job, such as the working hours, salary, and job responsibilities.
Example 3:Before starting a new business, thinking about the potential risks and challenges that may arise, such as competition, financial constraints, and potential legal issues.
Example 4:Before making a major life decision, such as getting married or having children, considering the potential negative consequences, such as divorce or financial strain.
Example 5:Before making a decision to travel to a certain location, researching the potential safety concerns, health risks, and travel restrictions.
Thinking from the negative side before making a decision can b e a valuable tool for making good decisions. It helps us identify the potential risks and negative consequences, prepare for unexpected situations, and make informed and thoughtful decisions based on complete information. It can be particularly useful in complex and uncertain situations where there are many variables and factors to consider.
Know your state of mind
It's true that our state of mind can greatly affect our decision-making ability. If we are in a state of mind where we are feeling emotional, angry, desperate, or hasty, we are likely to make decisions that we may regret later. Therefore, it's important to be aware of our state of mind and make decisions when we are in a more rational and controlled state of mind.
Being aware of your state of mind requires observation of your own thoughts and emotions. One effective way to do this is to pen down your thoughts on paper. This will allow you to take a step back from your emotions and analyze them more objectively.
For instance, suppose you have started a relationship with someone without knowing much about them, and you were feeling desperate or emotionally vulnerable at the time of making the decision. Later, you discover that the person is not the right match for you, and you regret your hasty decision. If you had been in a more rational and controlled state of mind at the time of making the decision, you may have made a more informed choice and avoided the regret that followed.
This principle can be applied to many areas of life, such as making career choices, taking important exams, and dealing with personal and family problems. If you have control over your emotions and are in a rational state of mind when making decisions, you are more likely to make sound decisions that you will not regret later.
Knowing your state of mind is crucial in decision-making. By being aware of your emotions and thought patterns, you can make more informed and rational decisions that are less likely to lead to regret. Penning down your thoughts and emotions is one effective way to observe your own thinking and maintain control over your decision-making process.
Increase your awareness
Increasing your awareness is crucial when it comes to making good decisions. This means that you need to be informed about the situation or problem you are facing, and have a clear understanding of the options available to you. Here are some ways to increase your awareness:
-Use technology: As mentioned, the internet can be a valuable tool for increasing your awareness. You can research different topics, read news articles, and learn from the experiences of others. Just be sure to use reliable sources and fact-check information.
-Seek out information: Don't rely solely on what others tell you. Take the initiative to seek out information on your own. For example, if you are considering a job offer, research the company and its reputation, and talk to current or former employees.
-Stay up-to-date: Stay informed about current events and changes in your industry. This can help you make informed decisions that align with your goals and values.
-Learn from your experiences: Reflect on your past experiences and use them to inform your future decisions. Think about what worked well and what didn't, and apply those lessons to future situations.
For example lets say that you are about to join a B-school.
In the example given, joining a B school is a big decision and can have a significant impact on your future career prospects. Instead of relying on advertisements or opinions of others, it is important to conduct your own research to make an informed decision.
One way to increase your awareness is by using the internet and social media platforms to gather information about the college you are considering. You can search for the college's social media pages and read comments and reviews from current and former students. This can give you a better understanding of the quality of teaching, the placement opportunities, and the overall experience of attending the college.
Additionally, you can join online forums or groups related to the college or the field of study you are interested in. Here, you can interact with other students, alumni, and professionals in the industry and gain insights into the field and the college.
Train your mind to make good decisions when you are under pressure or stress:
Most of our mistakes happen when we are under pressure from something or someone. If you feel stressed or under pressure, take some time to calm down before making a decision. When we are under pressure or stressed, we often experience fear in our minds, which can weaken our decision-making abilities. Unfortunately, few people can manage their stress and make good decisions.
" The one who knows how to control their emotions
will control their life."
”
Think thrice before taking a decision:
Making a decision is a crucial step in everyone's life, and it can have a significant impact on our future. Thus, it is always better t o think carefully and weigh all the possibilities before making any decision. In today's fast-paced life, people often make hasty decisions, which they later regret. Hence, it is essential to think thrice before making any decision.
When you think thrice, you give yourself the time to analyze the situation and assess all the available options. You can take a step back and look at the bigger picture. It allows you to weigh the pros and cons of each option and choose the best one that aligns with your goals and values.
When you take your time to think, you also give yourself the opportunity to consider the consequences of your decision. You can evaluate how your decision will affect not only you but also others involved in the situation. By thinking thrice, you can avoid making decisions based on emotions and impulses and make a rational choice.
Additionally, seeking advice from experienced people who have been in a similar situation can be helpful. They can provide insights and perspectives that you might have overlooked, giving you a broader understanding of the situation.
Thinking thrice before making a decision is crucial to avoid making hasty decisions and regretting them later. It allows you to analyse the situation, assess all the available options, and make a well-informed decision that aligns with your goals and values. So, take your time and think before making any significant decision.
Here are a few examples of situations where it might be better to think thrice before making a decision:
Example 1: Buying a house: It's a big financial decision, and rushing into it without considering all the factors could lead to regret later on. Thinking thrice before deciding on a house, researching the neighbourhood, considering your financial situation, and weighing the pros and cons could help you make a more informed decision.
Example 2: Quitting your job: Quitting your job without a backup plan or a clear understanding of your future could be a big mistake. Taking the time to think thrice, considering your financial situation, and researching job opportunities could lead to a more successful transition.
Example 3: Starting a new business: Starting a business without proper planning and research could lead to failure. Thinking thrice before starting a business, researching the market, creating a business plan, and seeking advice from experienced entrepreneurs could help you make a more informed decision.
Example 4: Ending a long-term relationship: Ending a long-term relationship without giving it proper consideration and communication could lead to regret. Thinking thrice, seeking advice from trusted friends or a counselor, and communicating with your partner could lead to a more thoughtful and potentially positive outcome.
These are just a few examples, but the principle applies to any decision that could have a significant impact on your life. Thinking thrice and weighing the options could lead to better decision-making and ultimately, better outcomes.
Always consult an elder or experienced person:
Always consult an elder or experienced person. When we are young, our parents make decisions on our behalf. As we grow up, our parents leave us to make our own decisions. That’s how our decision-making skills evolve. If you are born a genius, then I am sure that you will grasp things quickly and make the right decisions without any regrets. However, for those of us in the normal intelligence category, seeking elder support in decision-making can minimize mistakes in life. Wisdom combined with energy can create magic.
For example, in Indian cinema, most debutant male actors have less success compared to female artists. When I was working in South Indian cinema, I observed that not only new actresses but also experienced actresses are accompanied by their mothers all the time. I wondered about the reason behind it at that time. Later, I came to know that every actress's mother gives their opinion on future projects, script selection, money management, communication, risk-taking, practical thinking, emotional stability, etc. I think if you compare the success ratio of male actors who had success without elder support to that of actresses who received guidance from their mothers, the latter has a longer and more successful rate. Actresses learn everything with their mother’s wisdom throughout their careers, which is called elder support.
It's great if you have elder support who knows you well and can help you in decision-making by minimizing negative outcomes. This way, you can combine talent with wisdom.
Know your strengths and weakness
Knowing your strengths and weaknesses is essential for making good decisions in your life. When you have a clear understanding of what you are good at and what you struggle with, you can make more informed choices about your career, relationships, hobbies, and other aspects of your life.
For example, if you know that you are a great communicator and enjoy interacting with people, you might consider a career in sales, marketing, or public relations. On the other hand, if you struggle with speaking in public or get anxious around large groups of people, you might avoid careers that require a lot of face-to-face interaction with customers or clients.
Similarly, if you are patient and enjoy helping others, you might consider a career as a teacher, nurse, or therapist. If you are creative and enjoy working with your hands, you might consider a career in the arts, such as painting, sculpture, or graphic design. By understanding your strengths and weaknesses, you can find a career that aligns with your interests and talents.
In addition to career choices, understanding your strengths and weaknesses can also help you in your personal life. For example, if you know that you struggle with time management, you might use tools like calendars or task lists to stay organized and on track. If you know that you tend to get distracted easily, you might schedule your work or study time during your most focused hours of the day.
Knowing your strengths and weaknesses can also help you in your relationships with others. For example, if you tend to be impatient, you might work on cultivating more patience when dealing with your friends, family, or colleagues. If you tend to be overly critical or judgmental, you might practice empathy and understanding to improve your relationships.
Overall, understanding your strengths and weaknesses can help you make more informed decisions in all areas of your life, leading to more positive outcomes and fewer regrets.
Conclusion
By following these steps, you can improve your decision-making skills and make better decisions in your personal and professional life as well. Remember to take the time to gather information, evaluate your options, and consider the consequences of your decisions. With practice, you can become more confident and effective in your decision-making.
CHAPTER-2
Late success
Success is something that almost everyone strives for in their lives, whether it be in personal or professional spheres. It provides us with a sense of purpose, accomplishment, and boosts our confidence. Success can be achieved through several factors such as intelligence, communication, wisdom, knowledge, discipline, persistence, and hard work.
There are two types of successes in this world:
1.Early success is visible in people who achieve their goals at a very young age. These individuals are quick to grasp things and are enlightened about their life goals. They start working towards their goals very early and achieve success very quickly. These people are often referred to as child prodigies, and examples of such people include musicians like A.R. Rahman, pop singer Justin Bieber, sportspeople like Sachin Tendulkar, actors like Shahrukh Khan, business tycoons like Mark Zuckerberg, and many more.
2.Late success, on the other hand, is visible in people who achieve success after the age of 35. These individuals take time to find their footing and work towards their goals. Late successful people often have to deal with a long period of struggle and suffering in their lives. Despite this, they persevere and remain persistent in their efforts. They don't make hasty decisions related to their profession and avoid taking risks that could jeopardize their long-term goals.
Late successful people also tend to make their decisions more wisely than those who achieve success at an early age. They have the benefit of life experience, which allows them to view situations from a broader perspective. They are often more mature, wiser, and have developed a strong sense of discipline. They avoid the pitfalls of early success, such as arrogance, complacency, and burnout. They tend to maintain their level of success for a longer period than early successful people.
Success can be achieved through several factors, and while early success is visible in child prodigies, late success is visible in individuals who achieve their goals after 35 years of age. Late successful people tend to make wiser decisions, are persistent, disciplined, and avoid hasty decisions that could jeopardize their long-term goals.
In late success people, there are two categories:
1. Late self-realization
Late self-realization is a situation where an individual is not able to identify their true strengths and goals until their 30s. This can happen due to various reasons like societal pressure, lack of self-awareness, fear of failure, or being too busy with responsibilities. In such cases, people may find themselves working in jobs that don't align with their true passions or goals, leading to a sense of unfulfillment.
However, it's never too late to realize your true potential and work towards your goals. In fact, people who have gone through a period of self-discovery later in life tend to have a greater sense of purpose and motivation to achieve their goals. They have a better understanding of themselves and what they want out of life, which makes them more focused and determined.
Late self-realization can be a challenging process as it requires a lot of introspection and reflection. It may involve taking risks and making major changes in one's life, such as changing careers or starting a new business. However, with determination and hard work, it is possible to achieve success even later in life.
It's important to remember that self-realization is a personal journey, and everyone's path will be different. It's crucial to not compare oneself to others who may have achieved success at a younger age. Instead, one should focus on their own strengths, abilities, and goals.Late self-realization may seem daunting at first, but it's never too late to pursue your passions and achieve success. With the right mindset and a willingness to work hard, anything is possible.
Example:In my childhood, I read a short Chinese story about a lost tiger cub that was raised by a mother cat. The tiger cub adopted the same characteristics of the mother cat's fearful behavior by running away from bigger prey. After a few months, the tiger cub grew and became stronger and larger in size, but it did not realize its true strength. Finally, after a few years, its cat family encountered a fox herd that tried to kill them. The tiger attacked the fox herd and made them run away, realizing its true strength and roaring loudly towards them.
The moral of the story is that sometimes it takes time to realize your true strengths, and it may only happen when you face conflicts in your life.
2. After a Long struggle
"In this category, people make their goals in their mid-twenties, even though it may take them a long time to achieve success. The reasons for this delay could be many things, such as a lack of support from family, bad luck, fewer opportunities, or lack of belief in themselves by others. Whatever the reason, destiny will make them work harder than usual successful people, even if luck does not seem to support them.
If you are facing such struggles in your life, do not lose faith until you achieve what you have dreamt of. Success will be yours if you make smart decisions, are well-disciplined, have a good network, and are hardworking.
It is likely that if you belong to this category, your family and friends may not trust you due to your age. In our country, everyone believes that at a certain age, people should fulfill their duties. For example, at 18, one should start university, and after that, they should either go for a job, pursue higher studies or join a family business. Between the ages of 24 to 27, people should get married and start their own family. Sadly, nobody knows that life is unpredictable and our minds are not machines that can work according to a set plan. In our country, success after the age of 36 or 38 is considered late, but in western culture, it is seen as a learning experience.
Example: I know that you might have heard about the beautiful Lotus flower with its elegant fragrance, but only a few know about its journey from birth. Initially, it starts its life in the mud, under the water, where it struggles to come out of the thick mud. It takes a lot of time to become a flower after it struggles with bacteria. Finally, after overcoming its long struggles, it blossoms above the water and gains its great attraction and fabulous fragrance.
Another example of late success is Mr. Stan Lee, who created his first comic hit when he was 39 years old. He had many career struggles until then or Mr. Henry Ford, who created the revolutionary Model T car when he was 45.
All you need to do is not care about others’ views and just stick to your aim with confidence. Many successful people around us had late success in their respective fields. We can take the example of Mr. Nawazuddin Siddiqui, who achieved success after the age of 36. He worked hard for more than ten years consistently and finally got his break in Bollywood as an actor. Another example is South India’s superstar actor, Mr. Vikram, who also got his break at the age of 36 after great struggle and hard work.
It's never too late for success, but I agree that late success can be a big frustration.
Things you should avoid when you are going through the late success phase:
Lack of Persistence:
Persistence refers to the ability to keep going, even when faced with obstacles or setbacks. It is an essential trait for anyone who wants to achieve success in their personal or professional life. Lack of persistence can be a significant obstacle to achieving your goals, especially if you are going through a late success phase.
When you are going through a period of late success, it is essential to be persistent in your attempts. This means that you need to keep working towards your goal, even when faced with challenges or setbacks. It is important to remember that success is not achieved overnight, and it may take a long time to see the results of your hard work.
One of the ways to be persistent in your attempts is to stick to one goal instead of juggling many goals. When you have too many goals, it can be easy to get overwhelmed and lose focus. This can lead to a lack of progress and frustration. By focusing on one goal, you can devote your time and energy to achieving it.
Another way to be persistent is to break your goal into smaller, achievable steps. This can help you to avoid feeling overwhelmed and make it easier to stay focused on your goal. For example, if your goal is to start a business, you can break it down into smaller steps like researching the market, creating a business plan, and securing funding.
In addition to being persistent in your attempts, it is also important to stay motivated. This can be challenging when you are facing obstacles or setbacks, but it is essential to keep your spirits up. One way to stay motivated is to remind yourself why you started on this journey in the first place. Visualize your success, and keep your eye on the prize.
Overall, lack of persistence can be a significant obstacle to achieving late success. It is crucial to be persistent in your attempts, stick to one goal, break your goal into smaller steps, and stay motivated. With hard work, dedication, and persistence, you can achieve your goals and achieve the success you desire.
Losing Faith in Your Goal :
When we face setbacks or delays in achieving our goals, it is natural to feel demotivated and lose faith in our abilities and the goal itself. However, it is crucial to keep faith in your goal and not let temporary setbacks deter you from your path.
One way to maintain faith is by reminding yourself of the reasons why you chose that goal in the first place. What motivated you to pursue it? What will achieving it bring you? Reflecting on these questions can help you reconnect with your initial drive and reignite your passion for the goal.
Another way to keep faith is by seeking support from others. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your goal. They can provide encouragement and motivation when you are feeling down or demotivated. Additionally, consider seeking guidance and mentorship from those who have achieved similar goals or have experience in your field of interest.
It is also important to remember that setbacks and delays are not indicative of failure. They are opportunities for growth and learning. Use them to identify areas for improvement and work on developing new skills and strategies.
Ultimately, the key to maintaining faith in your goal is to believe in yourself and your abilities. You have the potential to achieve great things, and with persistence and determination, you can overcome any obstacle and achieve your dreams.
Comparing Yourself with Others:
When you start comparing yourself with others, you tend to focus on their achievements rather than your own. This can lead to negative thoughts, self-doubt, and low self-esteem. You may start to feel like you are not good enough, or you may feel envious of other people's success.
However, it is important to remember that success comes at different ages and stages of life. Just because someone else achieved success at a younger age doesn't mean that you can't achieve it too. Everyone has a unique journey, and your path to success may take longer, but it doesn't mean that it's impossible.
Instead of comparing yourself with others, focus on your own progress and accomplishments. Celebrate small wins and set achievable short-term goals that will keep you motivated. Remember that success is a journey, not a destination, and it's important to enjoy the process and learn from your failures.
Also, surround yourself with positive and supportive people who encourage and motivate you. Seek guidance and advice from those who have experienced a similar journey, and don't hesitate to ask for help when you need it.
In summary, comparing yourself with others can be harmful to your mental health and discourage you from achieving your goals. Instead, focus on your own progress, celebrate small wins, set achievable short-term goals, learn from your failures, surround yourself with positive and supportive people, and believe in yourself.
Setting Impossible Goals:
When we set impossible goals, we tend to lose motivation and become disheartened. It can lead to feelings of disappointment and frustration when we don't achieve the desired outcome. It is important to set realistic goals that we can accomplish in a given time frame. Short-term goals help us to break down our long-term goals into achievable tasks, making the process more manageable.
Setting short-term goals also helps us to keep track of our progress and stay motivated. Achieving small milestones along the way can give us a sense of accomplishment and encourage us to continue towards our ultimate goal.
Moreover, setting impossible goals can lead to a fear of failure, which can be detrimental to our progress. We may become afraid to take risks or try new things, which can hinder our growth and development. By setting achievable goals, we can reduce the fear of failure and increase our confidence in our abilities.
Here are some examples:
Example 1:Instead of setting a goal to become a millionaire within a year, set a goal to increase your savings by a certain percentage each month.
Example 2:Instead of setting a goal to become a famous writer within a year, set a goal to write a certain number of words or pages each day or week.
Example 3:Instead of setting a goal to lose 50 pounds in a month, set a goal to exercise for a certain amount of time each day or week and make healthier food choices.
Example 4:Instead of setting a goal to become a CEO of a big company within a year, set a goal to learn new skills and gain experience in your field through networking, education, and job opportunities.
By setting realistic and achievable short-term goals, you can make progress towards your larger goals without feeling overwhelmed or discouraged.
Believing Success is the End Goal :
Success is not an endpoint, but rather a continuous process that requires constant effort, learning, and adaptation. It is important to understand that achieving your goal is not the end of your journey, but just the beginning of a new one. Once you achieve a goal, you should celebrate your achievement, but also focus on maintaining and improving it.
For instance, let's say your goal was to write a book and you finally published it. You might feel a great sense of accomplishment, but it's important to remember that the work doesn't end there. You still need to market and promote the book, work on new ideas for your next book, and continually improve your writing skills to maintain your success as a writer.
Similarly, in the business world, achieving a certain level of success doesn't mean that you can relax and stop working hard. Businesses must continuously innovate, adapt to new technologies and trends, and focus on providing excellent customer service to maintain and grow their success.
In short, success is not just about reaching a particular goal; it is a continuous process that requires hard work, dedication, and a willingness to adapt and improve.
Losing Material Desires:
Late success can be frustrating, especially when you see others around you achieving their goals at a younger age. It's easy to start comparing yourself to them and feel like you are missing out on material desires such as a high-paying job, a fancy car, or a luxurious lifestyle. However, it's important to remember that success is not just about material possessions.
When you are working towards a goal, it's essential to focus on the journey rather than just the end result. Late success is a journey that requires a lot of hard work, determination, and perseverance. It's a journey that will help you grow as a person and develop valuable skills that will help you in the future.
Instead of focusing on material desires, focus on the personal growth and fulfillment that comes from working towards your goal. Embrace the challenges and struggles that come with the journey and celebrate small wins along the way. Recognize that achieving your dream is a significant accomplishment that will bring a sense of satisfaction and pride.
It's also important to remember that success is not just about achieving a certain level of material possessions. It's about finding happiness and fulfillment in your life. Late success can give you a unique perspective on life and can help you appreciate the little things in life that bring you joy and happiness.
Losing material desires is a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of things. Embrace the journey towards achieving your dream and focus on the personal growth and fulfillment that comes with it. Remember that success is not just about material possessions, but about finding happiness and fulfillment in your life.
Discouragement from Others:
Discouragement from others can be a major obstacle when trying to achieve success. It is important to understand that people may not have the same level of faith in your abilities as you do, and may try to discourage you from pursuing your dreams. However, it is crucial to not let these negative comments affect your confidence and determination.
One way to handle discouragement from others is to remind yourself of your own skills and strengths. Reflect on your past successes and accomplishments, and use these as motivation to continue pursuing your goals. Additionally, seeking support from positive and encouraging people in your life can help you maintain your focus and motivation.
It is also important to remember that everyone has their own journey towards success. Your path may be different from others, and that is okay. Do not compare yourself to others or let their opinions discourage you. Stay focused on your own goals and continue to work towards them with perseverance and determination.
In the end, having faith in yourself and your abilities is key to overcoming discouragement from others. Believe in yourself and your dreams, and keep pushing forward towards your goals, no matter what obstacles you may face along the way.
Conclusion
Late success can be frustrating, but it's important to avoid these pitfalls and keep pushing yourself towards your goals. Keep your faith in your abilities, set short-term goals, and stay persistent in your efforts. Success may take time, but it's never too late to achieve your dreams.
For your goals,
you should arise when you fall,
you should awake when you sleep,
you should think when you lost, and
finally, you should bounce back when you fall. ”
CHAPTER-3
How to handle a breakup?
Breakups are undoubtedly one of the most challenging experiences to go through in life. They can create unpredictable circumstances in relationships, leading to immense emotional pain and heartache. There are many reasons why a couple might decide to break up, such as infidelity, incompatibility, communication issues, or simply growing apart. In some cases, it can be challenging to pinpoint the exact reason for the breakup, which can add to the confusion and hurt.
When someone goes through a breakup, it's common for people around them to offer well-meaning but often unhelpful advice, such as "just move on" or "forget about her/him." However, these words can feel dismissive and insensitive to someone who is experiencing intense emotions and struggling to cope with the loss of a relationship.
In India, breakups are becoming increasingly common, particularly during the approval stage of arranged marriages. Cultural and societal pressures can make it challenging for couples to navigate their relationships, leading to misunderstandings and conflict. Even outside of arranged marriages, external factors such as distance or career opportunities can strain a relationship, leading to a breakup.
The pain of a breakup can be overwhelming, and it's important to acknowledge and validate those emotions. It's essential to take time to grieve the loss of the relationship and allow yourself to feel the sadness, anger, and confusion that may arise. Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can be helpful in processing these emotions and finding healthy ways to cope.
It's important to remember that healing from a breakup is a process, and it's different for everyone. It's okay to take as much time as you need to move forward and rebuild your life. In the end, the most important thing is to prioritize your own well-being and self-care, even if it means taking a break from dating or relationships for a while.
Before knowing the way to handle a breakup, I will describe the types of breakups. Because every breakup is different and the way to handle them is different.
Different types of breakups:
1).Your loved one left you for a better person
Breakups can be especially difficult to handle when your partner leaves you for someone else. This can be an unexpected and painful situation to go through, as you may have had plans and expectations for the future with your partner. It's natural to feel hurt and your ego may be bruised, which can affect your thinking and decision-making abilities.
For men, in particular, this can be a nightmare as many may struggle with confidence or social skills to move on to a new relationship. Additionally, the gender ratio may not always be in their favour, which can add to the difficulty of finding a new partner.
There are various reasons why your partner may have left you for someone else. It could be that they lost interest in you or found someone who they felt was more talkative, attractive, or financially secure than you. However, it's important to remember that a person who leaves you for someone else is not worth holding onto, as they may do the same thing again in the future.
It can be challenging to move on from a breakup, but it's important to keep in mind that things happen for a reason. You may feel lucky that your partner left you for someone else early on in your relationship, as this could have saved you from a potentially unhappy marriage and the stress of raising children with someone who may not have been fully committed to the relationship. Instead, use this experience as an opportunity to reflect on what you want in a partner and focus on finding someone who will truly appreciate and value you for who you are.
Here are some examples:
Your partner leaves you for someone who is more successful in their career, leaving you feeling inadequate and unimportant.
Your partner leaves you for someone who they find more physically attractive, causing you to question your own appearance and self-worth.
Your partner leaves you for someone who they feel has more in common with them, making you feel like you weren't compatible enough.
Your partner leaves you for someone who they feel understands them better, leaving you feeling like you didn't try hard enough to connect with them emotionally.
Your partner leaves you for someone who they feel is more adventurous or exciting, causing you to doubt your own ability to be spontaneous and fun.
2). Your partner left you due to your behaviour.
"The root cause of every problem in a
relationship is expectations."
”
It's important to reflect on your behaviour in a relationship because it could be a significant factor that led to the breakup. Sometimes, people can get so caught up in their emotions that they fail to see how their actions and words are affecting their partner.
Reflecting on your behaviour involves being honest with yourself about how you treated your partner. Were you understanding and supportive, or were you rude and dismissive? Did you prioritize your partner's needs and feelings, or did you only think about yourself?
It's also important to consider your behaviour from your partner's perspective. Sometimes, people can think they're being kind and supportive, but their partner might see it as controlling or intrusive. So, it's essential to have open communication with your partner to understand their thoughts and feelings.
If you realize that your behaviour contributed to the breakup, it's essential to take responsibility for your actions and make an effort to change. This might involve seeking therapy or counselling, practicing mindfulness, or working on your communication skills.
However, if you refuse to acknowledge your behaviour and make changes, you will likely repeat the same mistakes in future relationships. In the example of the friend mentioned earlier, his obsession with his girlfriends led to his partners feeling uncomfortable and eventually leaving him. Instead of accepting the feedback and changing his behaviour, he became angry and offended, which further exacerbated the issue.
It's crucial to reflect on your behaviour in a relationship and take responsibility for your actions. This will not only help you understand the reasons behind the breakup but also help you grow and improve as a person.
Some examples of behavior that could lead to a breakup include:
Jealousy and possessiveness: If you are constantly monitoring your partner's every move and becoming jealous when they talk to other people, this behavior can be suffocating and lead to a breakup.
Lack of communication: If you are not communicating effectively with your partner and not expressing your feelings, it can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts that could eventually lead to a breakup.
Being overly critical: Constantly criticizing your partner's behavior and actions can make them feel inadequate and unappreciated, leading to resentment and eventually a breakup.
Infidelity: Cheating on your partner can be a major betrayal, leading to a loss of trust and ultimately a breakup.
Disrespect: Disrespecting your partner's feelings, opinions, or boundaries can be hurtful and cause a breakup.
Inability to compromise: If you are unwilling to compromise and always want things to go your way, it can lead to conflicts and eventually a breakup.
Lack of emotional support: If you are not there for your partner when they need emotional support, it can make them feel lonely and unimportant, leading to a breakup
.
3.Your loved one is married to someone else
It can be devastating to find out that your loved one has married someone else, especially if you were hoping to build a future with them. This type of breakup can be particularly difficult to deal with because it involves the loss of a dream or a vision of a life together. It can feel like a personal failure, and you may blame yourself for not being able to win over your partner's family or for not being financially stable enough to support a family.
However, it's important to keep in mind that this situation is not entirely within your control. Marriages are not just about love; they often involve practical considerations such as finances, social status, family approval, and cultural compatibility. Even if your partner loves you deeply, they may not be able to marry you because of these factors.
It's also important to understand that your partner may be going through a difficult time as well. They may have had to make a difficult choice between their family's wishes and their own desires, or they may have married out of a sense of duty rather than true love. It's important to be compassionate towards them and to acknowledge their pain and struggles.
While it may be tempting to hold a grudge against your partner or their family for the breakup, it's important to remember that they may have made the best decision they could under the circumstances. It's important to focus on healing and moving forward with your life, rather than dwelling on the past.
One way to do this is to focus on your own personal growth and self-improvement. Take the time to reflect on what you want out of life and what steps you can take to achieve your goals. This could involve pursuing a new career, taking up a new hobby, or focusing on self-care and mental health. By focusing on yourself and your own growth, you can begin to heal and move on from the breakup.
It's also important to surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who can offer you emotional support and encouragement. Lean on them for help during this difficult time, and don't be afraid to seek professional counseling or therapy if you need it.
Things to do after a breakup :
Breakups can be one of the most challenging and painful experiences a person can go through. The emotions that come with a breakup can be overwhelming, and it can be challenging to know how to deal with them. In this response, we'll discuss 15 things you can do after a breakup to help manage your pain and move on.
First, it's essential to acknowledge and express your pain. Trying to suppress your emotions may seem like a quick fix, but it can actually make things worse in the long run. Sharing your pain with a trusted friend or family member can provide some relief. Remember that emotions need to be expressed, just like food needs to be digested. If you try to suppress your feelings, they'll eventually come back with even greater force.
If you don't have anyone to talk to, you can share your problems with God. Many people find comfort in prayer or going to a place of worship. Believing that a higher power is watching over us and listening to our pain can be incredibly comforting.
It's natural to reminisce about the happy times in a relationship, but dwelling on those moments can keep you stuck in the past. Instead, try to focus on the days before the relationship started or the things that didn't work out. This can help you gain perspective and move forward.
Owning a pet, especially a cat, can be a great way to reduce stress and promote relaxation. Studies have shown that the sound of a cat's purr can have a therapeutic effect on our bodies, reducing stress and even promoting bone density. Adopting a cat or spending time with one can be a great way to take your mind off your pain and focus on something positive.
Social media can be a double-edged sword after a breakup. While it's tempting to check up on your ex's life, doing so can lead to obsessive thoughts and prevent you from moving on. It's essential to block your ex from all accounts and delete mutual friends to prevent yourself from being triggered.
Accepting that everything happens for a reason can be a difficult pill to swallow, but it can help you come to terms with your pain. It's easy to feel like you've lost something essential, but the reality is that breakups can be an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
Jumping into a new relationship too quickly to avoid the pain of a breakup can be a recipe for disaster. Take some time to observe your thoughts and emotions and make a decision based on what's best for you, not what will temporarily ease your pain.
Isolation can be a natural response to a breakup, but it's essential to surround yourself with supportive people. Spending time with friends and family can help you feel less alone and remind you that you have a support system.
While love can feel like everything, it's important to remember that finances and work are still critical aspects of our lives. Focusing on your studies or profession can be an excellent way to distract yourself from your pain and work towards your goals.
Addictions are not a solution to the pain of a breakup. They may provide temporary relief, but they can ultimately cause more harm than good. Remember that true healing comes from addressing your emotions, not numbing them.
It's important not to base your understanding of breakups on movies, TV shows, or books. While they may be entertaining, they're not real-life and can lead to unrealistic expectations.
Watching movies and TV shows can be a great way to take your mind off your pain, but don't let them become your inspiration for how to deal with a breakup. It's important to keep perspective and understand that fiction is not always reflective of reality
It's common for people to want to listen to sad songs after a breakup as they can relate to the lyrics and find comfort in them. However, listening to sad songs can also keep you stuck in the past and prolong your healing process. Instead, try to listen to music that uplifts your mood or motivates you.
Managing your pain is crucial after a breakup. No matter what emotional state you're in, it's important to learn to manage your pain so that it doesn't consume you. One way to do this is to focus on your studies or profession. Keeping yourself busy with work or other activities can help take your mind off the breakup and give you a sense of purpose.
It's important to remember that taking extreme steps such as being vindictive towards your ex can have serious consequences not just for yourself, but for your loved ones as well. It's important to think about your parents and the sacrifices they've made for you before making any rash decisions. It's important to remember that our parents have invested so much time, effort, and love into raising us, and it's not worth hurting them for the sake of temporary emotions. Instead, try to focus on healing and moving on in a healthy way.
Conclusion
There is a saying, “nothing is forever in this world”.
One thing to remember is that you cannot escape pain or sadness in your life, because happiness, sadness, gain, loss, giving, taking, construction, destruction, life, death, good, and bad are all part of your life. You will not experience only happiness or only sadness in your life; everything is balanced. We cannot expect only gains and no losses in our lives because the universe doesn’t work that way.
If you are grieving because you have seen happy moments with your loved one and now you are not able to accept the sadness of being apart from him/her, remember that if you don’t experience sadness, how can you feel the existence of happiness?
One thing to remember in your life is that you are not born to fall in love with someone; you are born to achieve something in your life. Love is just a part of life; it shouldn’t be the goal of your life. Yes, of course, love is a need for everyone, but it shouldn’t become a want in your life. First, focus on your studies or your profession, then create goals and try hard to achieve them. Your pain should make you stronger instead of weaker.
Consider your life as a journey, and you are traveling to your destination. The people with whom you make friendships and relationships have different destinations. At some point in time, they will leave you because their destination is different compared to yours. In this world, you are the truth, and the rest is a lie.
CHAPTER-4
How to be happy in your life?
First let me explain the difference between need and want.
Need Wants
Water - Cool drinks, beverages, juices, soda
Food - Restaurants, fast food, different food, etc.
Sleep - Costly bed, Costly bed sheets, Luxury room.
Sex - Multiple partners, fidelity
For example, let's say that drinking water is our need but instead we drink fruit drinks, sodas, etc and that’s a want.
Let's take another example, let's say you are hungry, and you need to eat something to fulfill your hunger. Here eating something is a need and eating in a restaurant is a want.
I hope you now understood the difference.
Happiness can be defined as a state of contentment and satisfaction, which is achieved by fulfilling one's wants and desires. Different people have different wants and desires, based on their living lifestyles, cultural backgrounds, and personal preferences. Therefore, happiness is subjective and varies from person to person.
For example, a poor person may find happiness in having enough food to eat, a roof over their head, and a safe place to sleep. On the other hand, a rich person may find happiness in owning luxurious possessions, traveling the world, and having a successful career. These two examples illustrate how different lifestyles can influence what makes someone happy.
True happiness comes from a sense of purpose, meaningful relationships, and a positive mindset. Therefore, it's important to reflect on what truly makes us happy and focus on those aspects of our lives.
Furthermore, our lifestyle and behavior are closely related to our wants and desires. In today's world, we are constantly bombarded with advertisements and social media that promote a consumerist culture.
We are encouraged to buy more things, travel to exotic locations, and have a perfect life. However, these external factors often lead to a temporary sense of satisfaction, which is not sustainable in the long run.
Happiness is a subjective and complex concept that varies from person to person. It's important to understand that fulfilling wants and desires is only a part of achieving happiness.
We need to focus on our purpose, relationships, and mindset to cultivate lasting happiness. Our lifestyle and behavior play a significant role in shaping our wants and desires, so it's important to reflect on our values and priorities to lead a fulfilling life.
First, let’s discuss the two types of happiness:
1.Short-term happiness:
Short-term happiness is that which lasts for a few minutes to hours.Short-term happiness refers to the feeling of joy and satisfaction that is experienced over a brief period, such as minutes or hours. The different senses we possess, such as
Taste: We feel happy when we eat our desired food by spending money. The happiness will last for minutes.
Listen: we listen to our favorite music and feel happy while listening.
Watch: We feel happy when we watch a beautiful movie or painting or nature or good-looking people. Which will last until we watch it. It is also one of the short-term happiness.
Smell: We feel happy when smelling flowers or good perfumes or fragrances etc.
Touch: We feel happy when we touch things, people, and other living beings.
For example, we feel happy when we eat our favorite food, listen to our favorite music, watch a beautiful movie, smell a pleasant fragrance, or touch something we find pleasant.
However, it is important to note that short-term happiness is not sustainable, and it is not possible to sustain the feeling of happiness associated with our senses for an extended period. Our desires and preferences change over time, and we lose interest in things that once made us happy. For instance, we cannot eat our favorite food three times a day, listen to the same song all day, watch the same movie over and over again, or hug our favorite person forever.
This is because, after a while, the feeling of happiness associated with these activities wears off, and we start looking for something new to experience the feeling of happiness again. This constant search for new experiences and things to provide us with short-term happiness leads to greed, which is a never-ending cycle that can never be satisfied.
We become trapped in our desires, constantly seeking more and more to achieve short-term happiness, but it never seems to be enough. This often leads us to take risks, shortcuts, and even engage in unethical behavior to fulfill our desires. This pursuit of short-term happiness can make us lose sight of our long-term goals, and it can impact our overall well-being.
Therefore, it is crucial to recognize the limitations of short-term happiness and not get trapped in the never-ending cycle of greed. Instead, we should focus on finding long-term sources of happiness, such as personal growth, meaningful relationships, and a sense of purpose in life. These sources of happiness are more sustainable and fulfilling than the fleeting pleasures associated with short-term happiness.
" Pleasures in your life should never be your destination because
all kinds of pleasures are created by human. "
”
2. Long-term happiness
Long-term happiness is something that we all aspire to have, but it can be difficult to achieve if we are constantly chasing after our desires and wants. The key to long-term happiness is to understand the difference between our needs and wants, and to find happiness in the simple things in life.
In this long-term happiness, we will explore each of the five points mentioned in more detail.
A. Know the difference:
Understanding the difference between needs and wants is essential for achieving long-term happiness. Needs are things that are essential for our survival and well-being, such as food, shelter, and clothing. These are things that we cannot do without. In contrast, wants are things that we desire but are not essential for our survival. These are things that we can do without, but we may still crave them because they bring us pleasure or comfort.
It is important to recognize the difference between our needs and wants because our wants can often cloud our judgment and lead us to make choices that are not in our best interest. For example, if we are constantly seeking more material possessions, we may find ourselves in debt or constantly dissatisfied with what we have. This can lead to stress, anxiety, and a sense of unfulfillment.
By focusing on our needs and being content with what we have, we can achieve a sense of long-term happiness. This does not mean that we should not strive for more or work towards our goals, but rather that we should be mindful of our desires and assess whether they are truly necessary for our happiness. We should also be grateful for what we have and appreciate the things that truly matter in life, such as our relationships with others, our health, and our personal growth.
In summary, knowing the difference between our needs and wants is essential for achieving long-term happiness. By focusing on our needs, being content with what we have, and appreciating the things that truly matter in life, we can cultivate a sense of fulfillment and happiness that will last for years to come.
B. You can also be happy with what you have by loving them:
Being content with what we have and loving it can help us achieve a sense of long-term happiness because it allows us to appreciate and enjoy the things we already possess. When we are constantly striving for more or comparing ourselves to others, we can become dissatisfied with our current situation and may never truly feel happy. However, by loving what we have and focusing on the positive aspects of our lives, we can find happiness and contentment in the present moment.
For example, imagine that you have an older car that may not be as fancy or high-performing as newer models. However, if you love your car and appreciate it for what it is, then you will not feel the need to constantly upgrade to a newer model. Instead, you can enjoy your car for what it is and be grateful for the fact that you have a reliable means of transportation.
This same principle can be applied to other areas of our lives as well. Instead of always striving for more or better, we can learn to appreciate what we have and find happiness in the present moment. Whether it's our homes, our jobs, or our relationships, focusing on the positive aspects of what we have can help us find contentment and joy in our lives. It's not about settling for less or becoming complacent, but rather about recognizing and appreciating the good things that we already have.
By doing so, we can achieve a sense of long-term happiness that is not dependent on external factors or circumstances.
C. Start giving:
Giving to others can have a powerful impact on our sense of happiness and well-being. When we give to others, we experience a sense of connection and meaning that is hard to replicate through other means. There are several reasons why giving can lead to long-term happiness:
-Increased sense of purpose and meaning: By helping others, we feel a sense of purpose and meaning in our lives. We are able to make a positive impact on the world around us, and this can give us a sense of fulfillment that lasts much longer than the temporary pleasure we get from buying material possessions.
-Enhanced social connections: When we give to others, we often form stronger social connections with those around us. Whether we are volunteering at a local charity or simply being kind to our neighbors, these actions can help us build deeper relationships with others, which can improve our overall well-being.
-Boosted self-esteem: Giving to others can also boost our self-esteem and confidence. When we help others, we feel good about ourselves and our ability to make a positive impact in the world. This can lead to greater self-confidence and a stronger sense of identity.
-Increased gratitude: Giving to others can also help us cultivate a greater sense of gratitude in our lives. When we help those who are less fortunate than ourselves, we are reminded of our own blessings and the many things we have to be grateful for in our own lives.
Overall, giving to others can be a powerful way to achieve long-term happiness. By focusing on the needs of others and making a positive impact in the world around us, we can find a sense of purpose, connection, and meaning that can bring us joy and fulfillment for years to come.
D. Stop blaming God:
Blaming God or other external factors for our unhappiness can lead us to believe that we have no control over our lives and can make us feel helpless. This belief can prevent us from taking action and making changes that can lead to long-term happiness. It can also create a negative mindset and prevent us from seeing the positive aspects of our lives.
By focusing on the things we can control, such as our thoughts and actions, we can find contentment in what we have and work towards making positive changes. This means taking responsibility for our own happiness and recognizing that it is within our power to make positive changes in our lives.
By letting go of the need to blame external factors, we can focus on finding happiness in the present moment and being grateful for what we have. This gratitude can help us shift our mindset towards a more positive and fulfilling outlook on life. We can also find comfort in the belief that life is not always easy, but it is ultimately our own responsibility to find happiness and contentment within ourselves.
E. Find happiness in simple things:
To achieve long-term happiness, it's important to shift our focus towards the things that truly matter in life. Instead of constantly seeking out material possessions or external factors to bring us happiness, we need to look within ourselves and our surroundings to find contentment and fulfillment.
One way to do this is by recognizing the difference between our needs and wants. Needs are the essential things required for our survival and well-being, such as food, shelter, and clothing, while wants are things that we desire but are not necessary for our survival. By focusing on our needs and being content with what we have, we can achieve a sense of long-term happiness. This means avoiding the constant need for material possessions, which can lead to a never-ending cycle of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
Loving what we have and finding contentment in it is another important aspect of achieving long-term happiness. By focusing on the positive aspects of what we already have, we can find happiness and contentment in our lives. This means appreciating the things that we have, even if they may not be the newest or most expensive things available. By being grateful for what we have, we can find happiness in the present moment.
Giving back to others is another important aspect of achieving long-term happiness. When we help others, we feel a sense of purpose and fulfillment that can last much longer than the temporary satisfaction we get from buying material possessions. Giving can take many forms, such as donating to charity, volunteering, or simply being kind to others. By making a positive impact on the world around us, we can find meaning and purpose in our lives, which can lead to long-term happiness.
Blaming external factors for our unhappiness, such as God or other people, can prevent us from finding long-term happiness. Instead, it is important to focus on the things we can control and find contentment in what we have. By recognizing that our lives are good and we have what we need, we can find happiness in the present moment.
Finally, finding happiness in the simple things in life is a key aspect of achieving long-term happiness. This could be anything from spending time with loved ones, enjoying a favorite hobby, or simply taking a walk in nature. By finding joy in the little things, we can appreciate the present moment and find contentment in our lives.
CHAPTER-5
How to excel in your career?
To excel in your career, it's important to focus on your work rather than just the end result. Many people get caught up in the desire for fame, money, and recognition, but fail to put in the necessary effort and dedication to truly excel in their chosen profession. The secret to excelling in your career lies in focusing on the process rather than just the outcome.
There are a few qualities you should adopt to excel in your career:
1.You should focus on your work first
When we focus solely on our work, we prioritize the task at hand and aim to produce the best possible outcome. This allows us to give our best effort, pay attention to details, and improve our skills. It also helps us to avoid distractions and unnecessary stress related to external factors like fame or money.
Fame and money are future results of our work, and while they can be important, they should not be the driving force behind our work. If we focus solely on the outcome of fame or money, we may lose sight of the present task at hand, which can lead to subpar results. Moreover, the pursuit of fame or money may make us feel stressed, anxious, or unhappy, which can negatively impact our work.
Therefore, it is important to stay focused on the present and work diligently to produce the best possible outcome. When we do this, we not only improve our skills and produce better results, but we also increase the likelihood of achieving future success and recognition.
2.You should always be unique
When you strive to be unique, you are acknowledging your own strengths and weaknesses, and using them to create something new and different. It can also help you stand out in a crowd of people or businesses, making you more memorable and appealing to potential clients or customers.
In the context of work, being unique means creating your own style and brand that sets you apart from your competitors. When you imitate someone else's style or work, you risk being seen as unoriginal or lacking creativity. This can ultimately harm your career growth and limit your opportunities. Instead, you should focus on developing your own ideas and methods, which can help you create something truly unique and valuable.
Having a signature style is especially important in fields such as art, music, or fashion, where creativity and innovation are highly valued. If you can create a unique style that people associate with you, it can help you build a strong fan base or customer following. This can also help you establish your own identity as an artist or creator, making it easier for people to recognize and appreciate your work.
Being unique is an important aspect of personal and professional development. It can help you stand out, gain recognition, and create something truly original and valuable. By focusing on your own strengths and style, you can build a strong foundation for your career and personal growth.
Example 1:
Many aspiring singers imitate successful singers in order to gain popularity and recognition. For example, on YouTube, you can find numerous covers of popular songs performed by amateur singers, and many of them tend to imitate the singing style and mannerisms of established singers like Arijit Singh or Shreya Ghoshal. While it's understandable that aspiring singers may want to emulate successful singers as a way to learn from them, it's important to develop their own unique style in order to stand out and be recognized for their own talents. Ultimately, being unique and having a distinct style can help artists differentiate themselves from others in their industry and create their own identity.
Example 2:
Let's say you're a graphic designer who wants to create a logo for a new brand. You could choose to imitate a popular logo design from a well-known brand, hoping that it will also make your logo successful. However, this would be a mistake because it would make your brand seem unoriginal and potentially lead to legal issues.
Instead, you should focus on creating a unique design that reflects the values and personality of the brand. By doing so, you can create a distinctive identity that will set the brand apart from competitors and make it more memorable to customers. This unique design could become the signature of the brand, making it instantly recognizable even among a sea of competitors.
3.You need to learn your work from the basics.
Learning any skill or field requires a strong foundation. To become proficient in any field, you need to start from the basics and then gradually move towards the advanced level. Impatience can lead to skipping important concepts, which can harm your long-term success in that field.
For instance, consider someone who wants to learn programming. If they jump straight into learning advanced concepts and ignore the fundamentals, they will struggle to understand the logic and syntax of the language. This can lead to bugs and errors in their code, which can result in lost time and resources. On the other hand, if they start with the basics such as variables, loops, and functions, they can build a strong foundation that will help them tackle complex problems in the future.
Similarly, if you want to become a successful entrepreneur, you need to start by learning the basics of business management, finance, and marketing. Jumping straight into launching a business without understanding these concepts can lead to failure.
Therefore, it is important to be patient and take the time to learn your work from the basics. This will help you build a strong foundation, which will allow you to tackle more complex challenges in the future and achieve long-term success in your desired field.
4. You shouldn’t take shortcuts
Taking shortcuts may seem like a good idea in the short term, but they often come with consequences. Shortcuts can involve taking unethical or illegal actions to achieve success, which can result in negative consequences such as legal trouble, damage to reputation, and loss of trust from others.
For instance, a stand-up comedian took a shortcut to fame by abusing a famous celebrity on social media. This shortcut may have seemed like an easy way to gain attention, but it resulted in negative consequences, including offending the celebrity's fans, damaging his own reputation, and even facing legal charges.
On the other hand, if you choose to take the long way and put in the necessary effort, you may encounter challenges and setbacks along the way. However, the experience and knowledge gained from the process will help you develop the necessary skills and expertise to succeed in the long term.
Therefore, it is important to have patience and persistence when working towards long-lasting excellence in your career. Taking the time to learn and develop your skills from the ground up will ultimately pay off in the long run, and you will be able to achieve sustainable success without compromising your ethics or integrity.
5. Never care about the people who praise or troll you
" Don’t let people decide that you shouldn’t
dream big because it’s your hard work, sacrifices
and not theirs. You must trust yourself.
”
It's human nature to care about what others think of us. We all want to be liked, appreciated, and respected by those around us. However, when it comes to our work or passions, we must learn to distinguish between constructive criticism and unwarranted praise or trolling.
Constructive criticism is feedback that helps us improve and grow in our field. It highlights our weaknesses and suggests ways to overcome them. On the other hand, unwarranted praise or trolling is feedback that doesn't add any value to our work. It's either based on personal biases or has no logical reasoning.
If we start caring too much about what people say about our work, it can lead to a lack of confidence and self-doubt. We may start second-guessing our abilities and end up making decisions based on other people's opinions instead of our own.
In contrast, if we trust our capabilities and skills and focus on our work, we are more likely to succeed in our field. We should take constructive criticism seriously, but not let unwarranted praise or trolling affect our mindset.
Moreover, it's important to understand that everyone has different tastes and preferences. What one person likes, another may dislike. Therefore, it's impossible to please everyone. We should aim to create work that we are proud of and that aligns with our values and goals.
We should not care too much about what people say about our work. We should focus on our skills and capabilities and take constructive criticism seriously. We should create work that we are proud of and that aligns with our values and goals.
6. You must devote and respect your work.
Devotion and respect towards your work are crucial factors in achieving long-term success. When you devote yourself to your work, you are giving your best effort, energy, and time to it, which in turn reflects in the quality of work you produce. For instance, Sachin Tendulkar, who is considered as one of the greatest cricketers of all time, treated the cricket ground as a temple, which shows his devotion and respect towards his sport.
Similarly, A.R. Rahman, a legendary musician, treats his music studio like a holy place, which reflects his dedication to his craft. When you have respect towards your work, you take care of every detail, ensure quality, and never compromise on standards. You strive to improve yourself, learn new things, and innovate.
When you have such dedication and respect towards your work, you become more creative, productive, and successful. People admire and recognize the efforts you put in and the quality of work you produce. The devotion towards work also helps in building a positive reputation and creating a strong brand image.
Therefore, it is essential to devote and respect your work, irrespective of the field you are in. It not only helps in achieving long-term success but also brings satisfaction and happiness in your life.
7. You should know every emotion of your work.
Understanding the emotions of your work is a crucial aspect of excelling in any profession or art form. Emotions play a significant role in creating a connection with the audience or clients. For instance, a musician who can convey the right emotion through their music can touch the hearts of the listeners. Similarly, an actor who can portray the right emotion in a scene can make the audience feel the character's emotions.
To understand the emotions of your work, you need to have a deep understanding of the craft. You need to be able to identify the emotional nuances and subtleties that make your work stand out. For example, in acting, you need to be able to express a wide range of emotions convincingly, whether it is anger, fear, happiness, sadness, or surprise. You need to be able to embody the character's emotions and make them believable to the audience.
Similarly, in sports, emotions play a crucial role. A sportsperson needs to be able to control their emotions in different situations. For example, they need to remain calm and focused under pressure, show aggression when required, and remain composed in adverse situations. Emotions can make or break a game, and a sportsperson who can harness their emotions effectively can achieve great success.
Understanding the emotions of your work is essential for excelling in any profession or art form. It requires a deep understanding of the craft, and the ability to express a wide range of emotions convincingly. By mastering the emotional aspect of your work, you can create a deep connection with your audience or clients, and achieve great success.
8. Try to create something new
Creating something new is important because it sets you apart from the crowd and makes you unique. It also helps you develop your own identity in your field of work. To create something new, you need to have a strong foundation of knowledge and skills in your profession or art. You should have a deep understanding of the principles and techniques that are used in your field.
Once you have a solid understanding of the basics, you can start experimenting and exploring new ideas. You can take inspiration from the current trends and try to come up with your own unique twist on it. It's important to not copy someone else's work or ideas, as that defeats the purpose of creating something new. Instead, try to think outside the box and come up with your own creative solutions.
Creating something new also requires discipline and dedication. It's important to put in the time and effort to develop your skills and refine your ideas. This might mean putting in long hours of practice or research, or seeking feedback from peers and mentors. It's also important to be open to feedback and criticism, as that can help you improve and refine your work.
Creating something new is important for anyone who wants to excel in their profession or art. It requires a strong foundation of knowledge and skills, as well as creativity, discipline, and dedication. By staying true to your own unique vision and ideas, you can develop your own identity and set yourself apart from the crowd.
Few more things to remember for excelling in your career:
Set clear goals: Before you begin your career, it's important to set clear and achievable goals for yourself. This will help you stay motivated and focused on what you want to achieve.
Focus on self-improvement: Always strive to improve yourself by learning new skills, attending training and development programs, and networking with other professionals in your field.
Be proactive: Take the initiative to identify problems and come up with creative solutions. This will help you stand out as a valuable employee and potential leader.
Be a team player: Collaboration and teamwork are essential for success in any career. Learn to work well with others, communicate effectively, and be open to constructive criticism.
Build a strong professional network: Networking is key to building relationships and finding new opportunities. Attend industry events, connect with colleagues on social media, and stay active in professional organizations.
Seek out mentors: Find experienced professionals who can guide and support you in your career. Mentors can offer valuable advice, share their experiences, and help you navigate challenging situations.
Take calculated risks: Sometimes taking risks can lead to great rewards. However, it's important to be strategic and thoughtful about the risks you take. Assess the potential benefits and drawbacks before making any major decisions.
Be persistent: Success in any career requires persistence and determination. Don't give up easily, stay focused on your goals, and keep working hard.
Conclusion
Remember that excelling in your career is not just about achieving great results, it's also about constantly improving yourself and being a valuable member of your team. By following these tips, you can set yourself up for success and achieve your career goals.
CHAPTER-6
How to overcome loneliness?
Feeling lonely is a common human emotion that can be experienced by anyone, regardless of their age, gender, or background. Loneliness can be described as a feeling of isolation or disconnection from others, and can be caused by a variety of factors.
There are many different reasons why someone may feel lonely, and it is a complex emotion that can be influenced by a variety of internal and external factors.
These are a few reasons for feeling loneliness:
Lack of compassion: One of the reasons for feeling lonely could be a lack of compassion from the people around us. Sometimes, we may not feel comfortable sharing our problems or feelings with others, even with those who are close to us. This can lead to a sense of isolation and loneliness.
Virtual world: In today's digital age, people are increasingly connecting virtually, through social media, messaging apps, and video calls. While these tools help us stay in touch with people who are physically distant, they cannot replace the warmth and human connection that comes from in-person communication. This can lead to a sense of loneliness and disconnection, despite being connected virtually.
Materialistic relationships: Relationships are often formed based on materialistic benefits, such as money or status, rather than genuine emotional connections. This can lead to a lack of trust and a sense of isolation, as people may not feel emotionally connected to others.
Stress: Stress is a common experience for many people, and it can take a toll on mental health and relationships. When people are stressed, they may withdraw from social situations, which can lead to loneliness.
Lack of trust: Trust is an important foundation of any relationship. When there is a lack of trust, people may not feel comfortable opening up to others, which can lead to a sense of isolation.
Preference for happiness: Society often places a high value on happiness and positivity, which can make it difficult for people to express negative emotions. People may feel isolated or stigmatized if they are going through a difficult time or experiencing negative emotions.
Greed: In a competitive society, people are often driven by their desire for material success and financial gain. This can lead to a sense of isolation and disconnection from others, as people may prioritize their own goals over their relationships with others.
Short-term relationships: Many relationships today are short-term and opportunistic, rather than based on genuine emotional connections. This can lead to a sense of isolation and loneliness, as people may not feel connected to others on a deeper level.
Lack of understanding: Sometimes, people may not understand us, even those who are close to us. This can lead to a sense of isolation and loneliness, as we may feel like no one truly knows or understands us.
Things to do if you are suffering from loneliness:
Relying solely on others for companionship is not a good idea:
and to alleviate feelings of loneliness can be a dangerous mindset. It can lead to disappointment, feelings of rejection, and an unhealthy dependence on others for your emotional well-being. While it is important to have supportive relationships in your life, it is equally important to learn how to cope with loneliness on your own.
The reality is that everyone is dealing with their own problems and stresses in life, and it's not fair to burden others with the responsibility of making us feel less lonely. Additionally, relying solely on others for our happiness can put unnecessary pressure on those relationships, potentially causing them to become strained or even end altogether.
To overcome loneliness, it's important to work on developing a strong sense of self and cultivating your own interests and hobbies. This can help you to feel fulfilled and engaged, even when you are alone. Additionally, seeking out new social opportunities, such as joining a club or taking a class, can help you to meet new people and form connections.
It's also important to work on changing your mindset about what it means to be happy. Happiness is not something that can be achieved solely through external factors like relationships or material possessions. True happiness comes from within and is a result of cultivating positive self-talk, gratitude, and an overall positive outlook on life.
While it's important to have supportive relationships in our lives, it's equally important to learn how to cope with loneliness on our own. By cultivating our own interests and hobbies, seeking out new social opportunities, and changing our mindset about happiness, we can learn to overcome loneliness and lead fulfilling lives.
Here are some examples to illustrate my point:
Example 1:Depending on a partner for happiness: Imagine a person who feels they can only be happy if they are in a relationship with a loving partner. This person may spend all their time and energy searching for a partner, neglecting other aspects of their life. They may also feel lonely and depressed when they are not in a relationship, even if they have other supportive people in their life.
Example 2: Depending on friends for happiness: Similarly, a person who relies on their friends for happiness may feel lonely and isolated when their friends are busy or unavailable. They may also struggle to form new friendships or maintain existing ones if they are overly dependent on their friends for emotional support.
Example 3: Depending on family for happiness: A person who depends on their family for happiness may struggle to find fulfillment outside of their family circle. They may feel lonely and disconnected from their community or social network, and may have difficulty forming close relationships with non-family members.
In all of these examples, the person's dependence on others for happiness and fulfillment can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. It's important to recognize that while relationships can be a source of happiness and support, they cannot be the only source. It's important to cultivate other interests, hobbies, and activities that bring us joy and fulfillment, and to learn to be comfortable with ourselves and our own company.
Start spending some time alone every day:
The suggestion to start spending time alone every day is meant to encourage individuals to become more comfortable with their own company and develop a sense of self-sufficiency. When someone is experiencing loneliness, they may feel like they need the constant presence and attention of others to feel fulfilled or happy. However, this is not a sustainable solution and can put a lot of pressure on their relationships with others.
By spending time alone, individuals can learn to enjoy their own company and find activities that they genuinely enjoy doing. This can lead to a greater sense of self-awareness and self-acceptance. For example, someone who enjoys painting may find that they can become completely absorbed in their artwork and feel a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment.
When individuals rely on others for emotional support, they can become vulnerable to their moods and feelings.
If their partner or friends are having a bad day, they may not be able to provide the emotional support they need.
This can lead to a feeling of disappointment and further exacerbate their feelings of loneliness.
Spending time alone every day can also provide a sense of stability and routine. It can be comforting to have a set time every day to engage in a particular activity or hobby.
This can help individuals feel more grounded and less overwhelmed by the chaotic nature of the world around them.
Overall, spending time alone is an important step in learning to overcome feelings of loneliness. It can help individuals become more self-sufficient and comfortable with their own company, which can lead to a greater sense of fulfillment and happiness.
Start loving yourself first, you should do things that give you happiness and you should never do things that are hurting you.
If you love yourself then you can also be happy when you are alone as well as you can do things that make you happy.
.
”
Start finding happiness in nature
Nature has a way of providing peace and solace to our souls. When we spend time in nature, we are surrounded by beauty and tranquility. This helps us to forget our problems and connect with something greater than ourselves.
Watching a sunrise or sunset can be a breathtaking experience. The colors of the sky and the way the light changes can be mesmerizing. It is a reminder that there is beauty in the world, even when things seem difficult.
Rain is another aspect of nature that can bring joy. The sound of raindrops hitting the ground can be calming and soothing. Watching rain fall can also be a peaceful experience, as it helps us to slow down and appreciate the moment.
Watching the stars in the night sky can be a humbling experience. It reminds us of how small we are in the grand scheme of things. The vastness of the universe can help us to put our problems into perspective and see that they are just a small part of the bigger picture.
Spending time near the ocean can also be a powerful experience. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore can be both calming and invigorating. Watching the vast expanse of the ocean can also help us to see the bigger picture and appreciate the beauty of the natural world.
In order to fully experience the beauty of nature, it is important to be present in the moment. This means turning off our phones and letting go of our worries and concerns. It also means using all of our senses to fully immerse ourselves in the experience. By doing so, we can find happiness and peace in the beauty of the natural world.
Feeding and taking care of stray animals
can be a great way to combat loneliness. It provides a sense of purpose and responsibility, as well as a feeling of connection with other living beings. When you feed stray animals like dogs, cats, cows, and pigeons, it not only helps them but also gives you a sense of fulfillment and happiness.
In addition to feeding stray animals, adopting a pet can also be a great way to overcome loneliness. Pets provide unconditional love and companionship, and they are always there for you, no matter what. Having a pet can also help improve your mental health and well-being by reducing stress, anxiety, and depression.
Taking care of animals can also teach you about empathy, compassion, and responsibility. It can help you develop a sense of connection with the natural world and other living beings, and it can give you a greater appreciation for the value of life.
Furthermore, it's important to note that animals also experience loneliness and depression. Stray animals are often isolated and without companionship, just like people who feel lonely. By feeding and taking care of them, you can help alleviate their loneliness and provide them with the love and care they deserve.
This is kalyug:
The concept of Kalyug is rooted in Hindu mythology, which is characterized as the last and most negative era in a cycle of four yugas (ages). In this era, people are believed to be more inclined towards materialistic pursuits and selfish desires, rather than spiritual and moral values. While this concept is a part of Hinduism, the idea of societal degradation and moral decay is present in many other cultures and religions.
In the context of loneliness, the idea of Kalyug can be seen as a way of explaining why people may seem less compassionate or supportive towards others. The pursuit of materialistic goals has become a primary focus for many, which can lead to a lack of empathy and concern for others. In addition, the fast-paced nature of modern life can leave people feeling overwhelmed and stressed, making it difficult to find the time or energy to support others.
The statement that "everyone around us needs only successful and happy people but not unsuccessful and emotionally needy one" reflects the societal pressure to be constantly productive and successful. Many people believe that happiness and success are linked, and as a result, they may avoid or distance themselves from individuals who they perceive as struggling or unsuccessful. This attitude can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness for those who are going through a difficult time.
Overall, the idea of Kalyug and the societal pressure to be successful can contribute to feelings of loneliness by creating a culture that values materialism and success over empathy and compassion. However, it's important to remember that not everyone subscribes to these values, and there are still people who are willing to support and connect with those who are struggling.
Show unconditional love to everyone around you.
Showing unconditional love to everyone around you means loving them without expecting anything in return. It is important to understand that not everyone is capable of loving you the way you expect them to. Expecting love from people can often lead to disappointment and heartbreak, but showing love to others can bring joy and happiness to both you and the other person.
One way to show unconditional love is to be there for someone when they are going through a difficult time. This can be as simple as listening to them and offering support and encouragement. By showing empathy and compassion towards others, you create a positive and loving environment around you.
Another way to show love is through acts of kindness. Doing something kind for someone, such as cooking them a meal or helping them with a task, can make them feel appreciated and loved. It also creates a sense of connection between you and the other person.
It is important to remember that everyone has their own struggles and challenges, and sometimes they might not be able to reciprocate the love that you show them. However, by continuing to show love and kindness towards others, you create a positive energy that can have a ripple effect on those around you.
Ultimately, showing unconditional love is about letting go of expectations and judgments and embracing the humanity and inherent worth of everyone around you. It can bring a sense of purpose and fulfillment to your life, and create meaningful connections with others.
Try to do yoga, meditation, and pray to God
Yoga, meditation, and prayer are all practices that can contribute to emotional strength and well-being. Each of these practices can help to cultivate a sense of inner peace, focus, and resilience in the face of life's challenges.
Yoga is a physical practice that incorporates movement, breath work, and mindfulness. It can help to increase flexibility, strength, and balance in the body, while also calming the mind and reducing stress. Yoga can be a great way to release tension and negative emotions, and to cultivate a sense of connection to oneself and others.
Meditation is a practice of focusing the mind on a particular object or thought, such as the breath or a mantra. It can help to increase awareness, reduce anxiety and depression, and improve overall well-being. Meditation can be a powerful tool for developing emotional resilience, as it can help individuals to better manage their thoughts and feelings, and to respond to difficult situations with greater equanimity and clarity.
Prayer is a practice of connecting with a higher power, whether it be God, the universe, or a higher self. It can provide a sense of comfort, guidance, and support, and can help individuals to cultivate a deeper sense of meaning and purpose in life. Prayer can also help individuals to let go of negative emotions and to develop a greater sense of gratitude and compassion.
Overall, by incorporating practices such as yoga, meditation, and prayer into one's daily routine, individuals can develop greater emotional strength, resilience, and well-being. These practices can help individuals to better manage stress, anxiety, and negative emotions, and to cultivate a greater sense of peace and contentment in life.
Try to be vegetarian:
The idea that being vegetarian can make one emotionally strong, sharp, and smart is a belief that has been around for a long time. Some people believe that consuming meat can affect a person's emotional and mental state negatively. The idea is that by consuming the flesh of animals, we are also consuming their emotions, stress, and fear, which can affect our mental and emotional health.
Moreover, many vegetarians and vegans believe that adopting a plant-based diet is not only beneficial for personal health but also for the environment and animal welfare. They argue that consuming meat requires more resources such as water, land, and energy, and produces more greenhouse gases and waste compared to plant-based foods.
In Hinduism, the belief is that non-violence towards all living beings is one of the most important virtues. Hence, a vegetarian diet is highly encouraged.
While the idea that being vegetarian makes one emotionally strong, sharp, and smart is debatable and may not be scientifically proven, it is a personal choice that one can make for various reasons, such as health, environment, animal welfare, and culture.
CHAPTER – 7
How to fight your problems?
It is true that no matter who you are, what you do, or where you come from, you will inevitably face problems in your life. The important thing is not to run away from these problems, but to face them head-on and try to find solutions.
Successful people are those who are able to handle problems effectively and find ways to overcome them. They do not give up easily and are willing to put in the effort required to solve the problems they face.
On the other hand, unsuccessful people often give up too easily and are not willing to put in the effort required to find solutions to their problems. They may try to run away from their problems, but ultimately, the problems will catch up with them.
As human beings, we are not meant to be idle. We face challenges and problems throughout our lives, and it is how we deal with these challenges that determines our success.
Problems can arise in various areas of our lives, such as in our studies, our profession, our personal relationships, our finances, and our health. It is important to remember that everyone faces problems in their lives, no matter who they are or where they come from.
Even Lord Ram and goddess Sita, faced problems and challenges in their lives. As mere mortals, it is unrealistic to expect that we will be able to escape problems altogether.
However, it is possible to become emotionally strong and resilient in the face of problems. Problems can actually help us to grow and become stronger individuals, as we learn to face and overcome challenges.
When we are faced with problems, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and stressed out. We may ask ourselves why we are facing these problems and feel like we are alone in our struggles.
It is important to remember that there are often solutions to our problems, and that these solutions may be right in front of us. However, it can be difficult to see these solutions when we are feeling stressed and overwhelmed.
Few methods to fight your problems:
First, accept them:
Acceptance is the first step towards overcoming any problem or challenge. When we refuse to accept that we have a problem or try to ignore it, we only make the situation worse. We may feel like we don't deserve problems or that we are being unfairly targeted, but these thoughts only add to our stress and can lead to negative emotions like frustration, depression, and anger.
It is important to realize that everyone faces problems in their lives, and that it is normal to experience challenges and setbacks. Accepting our problems does not mean that we are weak or powerless; it simply means that we are acknowledging the reality of our situation and are ready to take steps to address it.
When we accept our problems, we are able to approach them with a clear and rational mind. We are no longer consumed by negative emotions and can start to think about possible solutions.
As the saying goes, every problem has a solution. When we are stressed and overwhelmed, it can be difficult to see the solution that is right in front of us. However, when we approach our problems with a calm and clear mind, we are often able to find a way forward.
For example, if we are facing a difficult situation at work, we may feel like there is no way out. However, when we accept that we have a problem and start to look for solutions, we may realize that there are steps we can take to improve the situation. We may be able to talk to our supervisor about our concerns, seek help from a colleague, or look for ways to improve our own skills and performance.
Sometimes, it can be helpful to share our problems with others. When we are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, it can be difficult to see the solution that is right in front of us. However, when we talk to a friend or family member, they may be able to offer a fresh perspective or suggest a solution that we hadn't considered before.
In summary, accepting our problems is the first step towards finding a solution. It allows us to approach our challenges with a clear and rational mind, and can help us to see the solution that is right in front of us. While it may be difficult to accept our problems at first, it is important to remember that everyone faces challenges and setbacks in their lives. By accepting our problems and taking steps to address them, we can become stronger and more resilient individuals.
Apply the three W’s strategy:
The three W's strategy is a useful tool for problem-solving that involves asking three questions: Why?, Where?, and What?
The first question, "Why?", encourages us to analyze the reasons behind the problem. By understanding the underlying causes of the problem, we can identify the root cause and begin to address it. For example, if we are struggling with low productivity at work, we might ask ourselves why this is happening. Perhaps we are feeling overwhelmed by our workload, or we are not getting enough sleep at night. By understanding the reasons behind the problem, we can start to take steps to address it.
The second question, "Where?", helps us to identify where the problem is coming from. Is it coming from internal factors, such as our own behavior or mindset, or external factors, such as our environment or other people? By identifying the source of the problem, we can start to take steps to address it. For example, if we are experiencing conflict with a colleague at work, we might ask ourselves where the conflict is coming from. Is it a result of our own behavior, or is it a result of external factors such as workplace dynamics or communication issues?
The third question, "What?", focuses on identifying possible solutions to the problem. By brainstorming different approaches or types of solutions, we can start to develop a plan for addressing the problem. For example, if we are struggling with low productivity at work, we might brainstorm different solutions such as prioritizing our tasks, delegating some of our workload, or taking breaks throughout the day.
Overall, the three W's strategy can be a useful tool for problem-solving because it encourages us to approach our problems in a systematic and analytical way. By asking these three questions, we can gain a better understanding of the problem and develop a plan for addressing it.
Keep your ego aside when you are trying to fight problems:
When we are faced with a problem, it's natural to feel defensive and protective of our own interests and desires. This is where our ego comes into play. Our ego is the part of us that wants to be right, wants to win, and wants to protect our own self-image.
However, when it comes to solving problems, our ego can often get in the way. It can prevent us from seeing things objectively and from considering alternative solutions. This is why it's important to keep your ego aside when you are trying to fight problems.
When we keep our ego aside, we become more open-minded and flexible. We are better able to listen to others and consider their perspectives. We are also more likely to take responsibility for our own mistakes and to apologize when necessary.
For example, if we are having problems in a relationship, our ego might prevent us from admitting that we are wrong or from apologizing for our mistakes. However, if we are able to put our ego aside, we might be able to see things from our partner's perspective and to take steps to improve the relationship.
Similarly, in a business setting, our ego might prevent us from considering the ideas of others or from admitting when we have made a mistake. However, if we are able to keep our ego aside, we might be able to collaborate more effectively with our colleagues and to find innovative solutions to problems.
Overall, keeping your ego aside when you are trying to fight problems is an important skill to develop. It allows you to approach problems with an open mind and to consider alternative solutions. It also allows you to take responsibility for your own actions and to apologize when necessary, which can be essential for repairing damaged relationships and moving forward.
You should not be emotional while solving problems:
When it comes to problem-solving, it's important to be objective and rational. Emotions can often cloud our judgment and lead us to make decisions that are not in our best interests or the best interests of others.
For example, in the business, if the business owner becomes emotional and starts to worry about the impact of their decision on other small businesses, they may not make the best decision for their own business. They may choose not to implement the price cuts, even though it could be the best solution for their business, out of a sense of guilt or compassion for others.
On the other hand, if the business owner is able to set their emotions aside and focus on the problem at hand, they may be able to make a more rational decision that takes into account both their own business interests and the interests of others.
It's important to note that being emotional is not inherently bad, but when it comes to problem-solving, it can get in the way of finding the best solution. Emotions can cause us to make decisions based on personal biases, fears, or desires, rather than on objective facts and analysis.
To avoid being emotional while solving problems, it can be helpful to take a step back and approach the situation from a more objective standpoint. This may involve gathering more information, analyzing the problem from different angles, and considering the potential consequences of different solutions.
In addition, it can be helpful to practice mindfulness or meditation, which can help to calm the mind and reduce emotional reactivity. By cultivating a more grounded and centered mindset, we are better able to approach problems with clarity and objectivity.
Consult your elders:
Consulting with elders is a great way to gain valuable insight into solving problems. Elders have lived longer than us, and have therefore gained more experience and wisdom through their own personal experiences. They have seen the world change and have lived through different eras, which gives them a unique perspective on life.
Elders have also faced similar problems and challenges as we do, and they have learned how to deal with them effectively. They have a wealth of knowledge and insights that can be incredibly helpful in finding solutions to our problems. By seeking their advice, we can avoid making the same mistakes they did, and learn from their experiences.
Moreover, elders are typically more patient and calm in their approach to life, which can be very helpful when dealing with difficult problems. They have learned to be patient and take things in stride, which can be incredibly helpful when dealing with stress and anxiety. By consulting with elders, we can gain a sense of perspective and balance that can help us make better decisions and find more effective solutions to our problems.
In many cultures, elders are seen as the keepers of tradition and wisdom. They are respected for their knowledge and experience, and are often sought out for advice and guidance. Many elders take great pride in being able to help the younger generations, and they are more than willing to offer their advice and support.
Consulting with elders can be an excellent way to gain valuable insight and guidance when dealing with problems. They have a wealth of knowledge and experience that can be incredibly helpful in finding solutions to our problems, and they are often more patient and calm in their approach to life, which can be incredibly helpful when dealing with stress and anxiety. If you are facing a difficult problem, consider seeking the advice and guidance of an elder – you may be surprised at how helpful they can be.
Universal fact:
While it is true that you may have to face problems on your own, it is also important to remember that seeking help and support is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it takes courage and strength to reach out and ask for help when needed.
While it is true that family and friends may not always be able to provide the solutions to your problems, they can offer emotional support, encouragement, and guidance. Sometimes just talking to someone can help you gain a new perspective on the situation and help you come up with solutions on your own.
Additionally, there are various resources available for seeking help such as therapy, counseling, support groups, and hotlines. These resources can provide professional guidance and support, and can be especially helpful for dealing with mental health issues or difficult life events.
While it is important to take responsibility for your own problems and find solutions on your own, it is equally important to know that you do not have to face them completely alone. Seeking help and support can be a valuable tool in overcoming challenges and moving forward in life.
Start living for yourself:
This world is crazy about successful and happy people only, but not for the unsuccessful or sad people who have problems in life. An event from my life could be a great example of this. A few years ago, I was a friendly and fun-loving person who tried to make everyone happy around me with my humor and sarcastic jokes. Most of my friends laughed a lot when I was with them.
However, when I faced a phase of depression and felt like sharing my pain with my friends, I realized that I was being repetitive. After a few days, all of my friends started avoiding me because they thought I was crazy. I felt alone and depressed and realized that no one was going to console me in this world.
I accepted the fact that I was unlucky to not have good friends, so I started doing yoga and exercising every day to make my mind and body stronger. I realized that I should fight my pain alone.
I fought and am still fighting in my personal as well as professional life. I became stronger from my suffering and trained my mind to handle any kind of issue in my life. Since then, I have started living for myself.
"There is only one person in this world who
understands of you, takes care of you, who never hurts your and who is there for you till your death and it is you.
”
Be courageous:
When faced with problems, it is natural to feel overwhelmed and scared. However, it is important to remember that we are capable of handling difficult situations. As humans, our minds are powerful tools that can help us overcome challenges and find solutions to our problems.
The key is to approach our problems with a mindset of courage and determination. Instead of allowing fear to paralyze us, we must be willing to take action and fight back against our problems like a soldier in battle. This means being willing to face our problems head-on, even when they seem insurmountable.
It is important to remember that fighting our problems does not necessarily mean trying to solve them all at once. Sometimes, the best approach is to break our problems down into smaller, more manageable pieces and tackle them one at a time. This approach allows us to make progress and build momentum, which can help us stay motivated and focused on finding solutions.
In order to fight our problems like a soldier, we must also be willing to persevere in the face of adversity. This means being patient and persistent, even when the going gets tough. We must be willing to push through setbacks and obstacles, knowing that with time and effort, we will ultimately overcome our problems.
Being daring enough to fight our problems means approaching them with courage, determination, and perseverance. It means being willing to face our problems head-on, break them down into manageable pieces, and stay focused on finding solutions. With this mindset, we can overcome even the most difficult challenges and emerge stronger and more resilient in the end.
We have to fight our problems like a soldier in our life with lots of courage. When you have courage in you even a big problem will appear like a micro one.
You are alone:
No one is going to come to solve your problems. You will be all alone and have to fight your problems by yourself. Don’t waste your time and energy waiting for someone to come and solve your problems.
For example, Jhansi Laxmi Bhai had many problems in her life. She lost her child and then her husband. Her relatives turned against her for the sake of the throne. Even the British were trying to conquer Jhansi. She stood alone and fought her problems until her last breath. That's how our attitude should be – to fight like a warrior.
We cannot escape from our problems as I said earlier, because we create them ourselves. Please don’t blame God for your problems, as God didn’t create money, luxury, property, relationships, or debts. We created everything for our comfort, and the problems related to them should be borne solely by us and not by God. Yes, when you pray to God, He will give you the strength to fight your problems, but we have to accept and fight them ourselves."
CHAPTER-8
Being practical vs positive in a relationship
Relationships are beautiful, but at times, they can be painful. Every relationship has its upsides and downsides, and it completely depends on how we deal with them. Some relationships last long, while others are short-lived. Technology has made everything easier and harder at the same time, as we can start a new relationship by swiping right or left, and end a relationship by blocking profiles on social media and phone numbers. The lifespan of relationships has decreased, which is similar to Western relationships. There are numerous reasons for this, including external and internal factors.
We have heard and read many love stories, such as Romeo and Juliet, Devadas and Parvati, Laila and Majnu, Jack and Rose. Did you notice that most of these stories have sad endings? Have you ever tried to find the reason? You might say that these are fictional stories, but if you look around you, you will find that many relationships have no destination. Technology has made our emotions and feelings shorter. I believe that we are living in Kalyug, and most relationships have become either materialistic or opportunistic. True love is fading away. I am not saying that true love doesn't exist. Of course, it does, and there are a few people who love their partners profoundly. However, in most relationships, either men or women are not genuine to their partners, which leads to sad endings.
For example, if a man is honest, he could be attracted to a dishonest woman. Similarly, if a woman is truly in love, she could be attracted to a flirty and dishonest man. Or, if both partners are honest with each other, their family, society, and circumstances may separate them. We cannot blame or escape from these issues because this is how our universe runs, as Newton's law states, "Opposite attracts."
I am going to narrate two stories, and I will leave the decision to you regarding the approach you would like to follow.
Being positive in love:
Preethi was very positive in her relationship. She and her boyfriend were both deeply in love and had the intention of marrying each other. She enjoyed every moment in her relationship, where her boyfriend used to be caring and compassionate towards her. Her boyfriend became the priority in her life, and at times she was very possessive and obsessed with her relationship. She was very confident that she would marry him for sure, and they were loyal to each other. For her, love was everything in this world.
At the time of marriage, neither of their parents accepted their marriage proposal. She waited for her boyfriend, but he married the girl of his parents' choice. Preethi didn't see this coming; she couldn't digest the fact that the love of her life had gone away forever. She couldn't bear the pain of separation and was in depression for a long time. Her studies and goals were affected due to the breakup, and she isolated herself from everyone. It took years to come out of her pain. When she finally became normal with her friends and family's support, it was too late for her career. Her goals were disturbed due to her unpredictable breakup, and as a result, her career became stagnant. Finally, she started working in a small job for less salary.
Being practical in a love:
Akash was a fun-loving guy who was pursuing his MBA. He was very much aware of relationships and their outcomes due to his past breakup. He fell in love with one of his friends. When he proposed to her, he made up his mind to take a practical approach to love. He knew that loving someone is not like movies or romantic fiction books. In the real world, things are different. He was prepared for any kind of outcome of their relationship. He allotted some time for his love and continued to focus on his studies. He wasn't a romantic guy but cared, consoled, and was compassionate towards his girlfriend. He was successful in managing his love and relationship. Both were happy in their relationship.
After a few years, his girlfriend broke up with him and found a new love. Akash was broken, yet he managed his pain and scored good results. He was sad for a few days but didn't feel like Preethi because he was prepared for either of the outcomes. In the end, he achieved his goal by becoming the CEO of a company.
The moral of these stories is that if you are positive in love, then you will enjoy the relationship and trust your partner wholeheartedly. But if you face situations like Preethi's in your life, then it will break your heart because you didn't expect the outcome. I am not saying that every positive relationship leads to pain; I am talking about both sides of the coin. You can also find the right partner and lead a happy life, or you may not take it to the next level. There are possibilities for both.
If you are practical like Akash in a relationship, then you will be able to manage both your work and relationship effectively. The outcome of your relationship should not affect the internal and external factors of your life. You will be able to accept either outcome. Even if you experience a breakup, you will feel the pain, but you will be able to tolerate it because you have prepared your mind before entering the relationship. However, the drawback of being practical in a relationship is that you might not experience the joy of love in the same way as someone who is more positive, such as feeling butterflies in your stomach, missing your partner deeply, and feeling excited when you are with them.
Love is just part of your life and it is not
your life.
”
Conclusion
While being in a deep and profound love with your partner is a beautiful feeling, it can also lead to negative emotions and problems within yourself and your relationship. When you are deeply in love with someone, you tend to become possessive and feel the need to control your partner's actions and decisions. You might become jealous of their friends, colleagues, or anyone who takes up their time, and even feel insecure about your own worth in the relationship. You might also experience the fear of losing your partner, which can lead to anxiety and stress.
These negative emotions can put a lot of strain on your relationship and make it difficult for both you and your partner to enjoy it fully. It can create conflicts and arguments, leading to a lack of trust and understanding between you two.
On the other hand, being practical in your relationship means taking a mature and realistic approach towards it. It means understanding that love is not like the movies or romantic novels where everything falls into place perfectly. It means accepting the fact that relationships require effort, compromise, and understanding from both partners.
By being practical, you can avoid unnecessary drama and negative emotions. You can focus on your personal goals and ambitions while also making time for your relationship. You can appreciate your partner's company and support them without becoming possessive or jealous.
However, it's essential to find a balance between being practical and being emotionally invested in your relationship. You can still feel the excitement and happiness of being in love while being practical and mature. You can communicate openly with your partner and express your emotions without letting them control you.
In summary, being practical in your relationship can help you maintain a healthy and happy balance between your personal life and your love life. It allows you to be a mature and responsible partner while also enjoying the happiness that love brings.
CHAPTER-9
Career or love?
I am sure that this is the most debatable topic, a few say that despite having a good career it's not possible to find true love. And few say that if we focus on only love then our career could be affected.
I will try to describe to you the three types of approaches in career and love.
Three types of approaches
1).Career over love
Choosing a career over love can have its own benefits and drawbacks. It means that you prioritize your career goals and aspirations over your romantic relationship. By doing this, you may have a clear focus on your goals and work hard to achieve them without any distractions.
When you focus on your career, you are likely to achieve good results in your studies or profession. You can utilize your time and resources effectively and efficiently to develop your skills, gain experience, and build a successful career. This can help you to achieve financial stability, a sense of fulfillment, and a sense of accomplishment.
However, choosing your career over love can also come with certain challenges. For instance, you may feel alone and left out when you see other couples or friends in relationships. Sometimes, you may also feel like you are missing out on the joys and benefits of being in a romantic relationship.
In addition, choosing your career over love can also affect your personal life in other ways. For example, you may have to make sacrifices such as relocating for work or working long hours, which can impact your social life and personal relationships.
Despite these challenges, prioritizing your career can have its own rewards. You may get selected for good colleges or a high-paying job, which can lead you to financial stability and fulfill your materialistic desires in life. Ultimately, you may find a partner of your family's choice and live a happy life together.
Choosing your career over love can be a personal choice that comes with its own set of benefits and challenges. It's important to weigh your options carefully and make the choice that aligns with your values and aspirations in life.
For example, a young professional who is just starting their career may decide to focus on their job and work long hours to climb the corporate ladder. They may prioritize their career over personal relationships and choose to stay single to avoid any distractions that may hinder their progress. As a result, they may gain valuable experience and expertise in their field, receive promotions and pay raises, and achieve financial stability.
2). Love over career
Choosing love over career can have both positive and negative consequences. When someone puts their partner before their career, they may find a sense of fulfillment in their relationship, but it can also cause them to neglect their personal goals and ambitions.
The person may be so focused on their relationship that they neglect to set goals for their career or studies. They may not be motivated to excel academically or professionally because their mind is preoccupied with their partner. This could lead to poor academic or professional performance, and consequently, limit their career opportunities and earning potential.
Additionally, if the person is not able to balance their relationship and career effectively, they may find themselves struggling financially. If they prioritize their partner over their career, they may not earn enough to support themselves or their partner, which can put a strain on their relationship. In some cases, their partner's family may reject them for their poor earnings, which can lead to further complications in their personal life.
For example, a young adult who prioritizes their relationship with their significant other over their career may miss out on opportunities to advance in their field.
They may skip classes or put off studying for exams to spend more time with their partner. As a result, they may not perform well in school, which can limit their chances of getting into graduate school or landing a high-paying job in their field.
Choosing love over career can have both positive and negative consequences.
It's important to find a balance between the two and prioritize personal goals and ambitions alongside one's relationship. Finding a partner who supports and encourages personal growth and development can also help in achieving a fulfilling and successful life.
3). Balancing both love and career
Balancing both love and career can be a challenging task, but it's essential to lead a fulfilling life. In this category, both partners have a clear understanding of the importance of their career in a relationship. They respect each other's goals, dreams, and aspirations and are willing to support each other in achieving them.
They communicate openly about their career ambitions and try to help each other in every possible way. They understand the significance of being practical and not getting carried away by emotional bonding, which could distract them from their goals. Instead, they find ways to balance their love life and career by being mature and responsible.
Example-1: of balancing love and career can be seen in couples who communicate openly about their career ambitions. They discuss their career goals, challenges, and aspirations and are willing to help each other in every possible way. For instance, one partner may need to relocate for a job opportunity, and the other partner may be willing to support them in the move.
Moreover, couples who balance love and career understand that practicality is essential. They do not get carried away by emotional bonding, which could distract them from their goals. They set boundaries and respect each other's need for personal and professional growth.
Example-2: If one partner is working late, the other may understand and support them, rather than becoming resentful. They may make the effort to have regular date nights or spend quality time together to ensure their relationship remains strong despite their busy schedules.
Balancing love and career also means being mature and responsible. Couples who can achieve this balance understand that their relationship is important, but they also have a responsibility to themselves to achieve their career goals. They make an effort to prioritize their time and resources, so they can excel in both areas.
Even if they face challenges in their relationship, they handle them with maturity and mutual understanding. They do not let their emotions control their actions and are willing to make tough decisions if required. For instance, if their parents disagree with their marriage, they will handle the situation maturely and break their relationship with mutual understanding, without letting it affect their career or mental well-being.
Conclusion
It's important to maintain a balance between your career and personal life, including relationships. Obsessing over a past relationship can be harmful to your mental health and distract you from focusing on your career goals. However, this doesn't mean that you should completely avoid relationships. Instead, it's about finding the right balance.
Your studies and career are essential for your future, and it's important to prioritize them. Your parents have made sacrifices for your education, and it's your responsibility to work hard and succeed in your chosen field. This is especially important during the critical period of 16 to 25 years, which can have a significant impact on your future.
While some people believe that it's difficult to find the right person if you focus on your career, this is not necessarily true. Love and relationships are not solely dependent on finding the perfect person, but also on the amount of love and effort you put into the relationship. It's important to remember that relationships are not just based on initial attraction, but on building a strong bond over time.
It's also important to not let fictional media influence your decisions regarding your personal life. Chasing after love can be tempting, but it's important to remember that your career and goals should be your top priority during this critical period. It's possible to balance both career and personal life, but it takes maturity and a willingness to prioritize and make sacrifices where necessary.
CHAPTER-10
Why few people can’t come out from a breakup quickly?
" Even your shadow leaves you in darkness.
So, don’t expect that your loved one will
be with you forever.
”
Few people take a lot of time to come out of their breakup and there are many reasons for this kind of situation.
Going through a breakup can be one of the most emotionally challenging experiences in one's life, and it's not uncommon for people to take longer than expected to come out of it. While both men and women can struggle with this, there are several reasons why few people may have a harder time dealing with a breakup.
One of the main reasons is the lack of emotional support for men and women at the time of breakup. Men are often taught to be strong and not show vulnerability, which can make it difficult for them to express their feelings and seek support from their friends and family. Women, on the other hand, tend to have closer relationships with their friends and are often more comfortable expressing their emotions,and yet few women cannot overcome their breakup due to their deep emotional connection with their partners.
In addition, men and women tend to cope with their emotions in different ways. Women are more likely to cry and express their emotions outwardly, which can help them release their pain and move on. Men, on the other hand, may be less likely to cry and instead suppress their emotions, which can lead to long-term suffering.
Another factor is that men and women may have different priorities and goals in life. They tend to focus more on the present and may not always think about the long-term consequences of their actions. This can make it harder for men and women to move on from a breakup, as they may feel lost and uncertain about their future.
Few Men and women both may also struggle with obsessive and possessive behavior after a breakup. They may have a hard time letting go of their ex-partner and may feel a strong desire to get back together, even if it's not in their best interest. This can make it difficult for them to move on and start a new chapter in their lives.
Furthermore, few men and women may feel a sense of shame or embarrassment about being single after a breakup. Society often places pressure on men to be in relationships, and men may feel like they've failed if they can't find a new partner quickly. This can create a sense of anxiety and stress, which can make it harder for them to move on.
Lastly, few men and women may struggle with feelings of vindictiveness and ego after a breakup. They may feel like they've been rejected and may want to seek revenge or make their ex-partner feel guilty. This can create a toxic cycle of negative emotions and behaviors, which can make it harder for them to move on and heal.
What to do after a breakup?
One thing everyone should remember the love is just part of our life and it isn’t life.
Instead of grieving about the past, you better focus on your studies and goals.
Breakups can be very difficult to deal with, especially when you have invested a lot of time and emotions into the relationship. However, it's important to remember that life goes on, and there are other important aspects of your life that require your attention, such as your career and personal growth. Focusing on your goals and career after a breakup can help you move on from the pain of the past, and create a brighter future for yourself.
One of the most significant benefits of focusing on your career after a breakup:
is that it can give you a sense of purpose and direction. By dedicating your time and energy to your studies or profession, you can set achievable goals for yourself, and work towards them with passion and determination. This can help you regain a sense of control over your life and create a sense of accomplishment that can help you feel better about yourself.
Additionally, success in your career can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful life. By working hard and achieving your goals, you can feel a sense of satisfaction and pride that can improve your overall well-being. You may also find that as you become more successful in your career, you attract people who share your values and interests, which can lead to deeper and more fulfilling relationships.
Finally, focusing on your career can help you create a better future for yourself. A successful career can lead to financial stability and independence, which can give you the freedom to pursue your dreams and live life on your terms. It can also give you the confidence and self-assurance you need to handle future relationships with greater maturity and emotional intelligence.
By focusing on your goals and career after a breakup, you can create a brighter future for yourself and move on from the pain of the past. So, stay motivated and work hard towards your dreams, and success will follow.
After a breakup, it's natural to experience a range of difficult emotions, such as sadness, anger, and loneliness:
These emotions can be overwhelming, and some people turn to addictive behaviors as a way to cope.
For example, alcohol and drugs can provide a temporary escape from painful emotions, while smoking can help calm nerves and reduce stress.
However, while these behaviors may provide short-term relief, they can create long-term problems. For example, alcohol and drugs can lead to addiction, which can damage your physical and mental health, relationships, and career. Smoking can increase the risk of lung cancer and other health problems, while also affecting your finances and social life.
Instead of turning to addictive behaviors, it's important to focus on healthy coping mechanisms. Exercise, for example, can release endorphins that improve mood and reduce stress. Meditation and mindfulness practices can help you manage difficult emotions and promote relaxation. Spending time with supportive friends and family can provide a sense of connection and community.
By focusing on healthy habits, you can reduce the risk of addiction and promote overall well being. This can help you move on from the breakup in a positive way, and build a happy and fulfilling life.
When going through a breakup, it's easy to get caught up in the pain and sadness of it all:
However, it's important to remember that time is a precious commodity, and every moment you spend dwelling on the past is a moment you're not spending on your future.
This is particularly true if you're currently studying or working towards a career goal. If you let the breakup consume your thoughts and emotions, it can be difficult to focus on your studies or work, and this can have serious consequences down the line.
For example, if you're not able to focus on your studies because you're consumed with thoughts of the breakup, you may not do as well in your classes or on exams. This can ultimately impact your ability to get a good job, and can limit your potential for success in the future.
It's also important to remember that the world is highly competitive, and success is often hard-won. If you want to achieve your goals, you need to be hardworking and dedicated, and you can't afford to let a breakup get in the way of your progress.
Ultimately, every moment you spend thinking about the past is a moment you're not spending on your future. While it's natural to feel sad and hurt after a breakup, it's important to keep things in perspective and remember that your future success is ultimately in your own hands.
Managing the pain of a breakup :
is a process that will likely involve a lot of self-care and self-compassion. This might mean taking time to do things you enjoy, like reading a book, watching a movie, or spending time in nature. It might also mean reaching out to supportive friends or family members who can offer you a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.
As you work through your pain, it's important to keep your long-term goals and aspirations in mind. Remember that focusing on your education or career can help you move forward and create a bright future for yourself. By setting goals and taking steps towards achieving them, you can feel a sense of purpose and accomplishment that can help you move past the pain of the breakup.
" Your pain can make you either strong or
weak. So, decide which side you want
to be.
”
It's also important to remember that pain is a normal part of the human experience. No one goes through life without experiencing some kind of pain, whether it's from a breakup, a loss, or a difficult situation at work or school. Learning to deal with pain in healthy ways can help you build resilience and develop a sense of inner strength that will serve you well throughout your life.
Revenge is not a healthy way to deal with a breakup, and it's not a sign of true love:
If someone is seeking revenge on their ex-partner, it's likely that they are motivated by their own ego, rather than any genuine concern for their ex-partner's well-being. This kind of behavior is harmful and can cause significant damage to both parties.
In contrast, real love is about caring for the happiness and well-being of your partner, even if that means they are with someone else. It's about wanting them to be happy and fulfilled, even if that doesn't involve you. True love is selfless and doesn't involve any kind of selfish desire for revenge or control.
When a relationship ends, it can be difficult to let go of the past and move on. But seeking revenge is never the answer. Instead, it's important to focus on healing and finding ways to move forward in a healthy and positive way. This might involve seeking support from friends and family, engaging in self-care activities, and working on personal growth and development.
Ultimately, true love is about letting go of any ego-driven desires for revenge or control, and instead focusing on caring for the happiness and well-being of the person you love. It's about being selfless and supportive, even if that means letting them go and moving on without you.
Stalking your ex on social media can be a common behavior after a breakup, but it's not a healthy one:
It can lead to feelings of jealousy, resentment, and even anger, which can further prolong the healing process. It's important to respect your ex's privacy and move on with your own life.
If you happen to come across your ex's social media profiles and see that they are happy in their life, it's important to feel satisfied for them. This is because true love is not about possession or control, but rather about wanting the best for the person you love, even if it means they are happier without you.
By letting go of your attachment to your ex and their happiness, you are practicing a form of self-love and emotional maturity. You are acknowledging that you can't control the actions or feelings of others, but you can control your own reactions and emotions.
”
Furthermore, focusing on your own happiness and personal growth is the best way to move forward after a breakup. This means finding joy in your own life, pursuing your passions, and surrounding yourself with positive and supportive people. In doing so, you are creating a fulfilling and meaningful life for yourself, independent of anyone else's actions or presence.